1. Bettys. Need I say more?
Yes there’s also a Bettys in Harrogate, but the one in York is the BEST one.
2. York is situated slap bang near the middle of the East Coast Main Line, making getting anywhere in the rest of the United Kingdom an absolute doddle.
3. And the city is southern enough to get heatwaves but northern enough to get snowfall.
4. What else makes York epic? ITS CITY WALLS.
5. Lost in the city at any time? No problem. Just walk out from the centre of town in any direction and BAM…
…. you can walk back round to somewhere you recognise again.
6. The streets all sound the same (which makes getting around York incredibly confusing at first)…
… but you don’t care because the street names are epic.
“I whip my gate back and forth I whip my gate back and forth.”
7. LOOK AT THIS STREET IT’S A TITTING FILM SET.
Don’t forget Mr Sandwich halfway down for the world’s cheapest sandwiches.
8. Speaking of the city centre, there are more pubs in York than you can literally shake a stick at.
Legend suggests there’s one for every day of the year, but the guy who attempted to count them all probably died if he drank at each one :(
9. How much does a night out cost? About this much.
Down south that amount of money wouldn’t even get you a pint of milk.
10. And of course there’s The Willow, a resturant that doubles up as a nightclub. And why is it so good?
Because along with £3 double mixers you also get to eat out of a huge bucket of PRAWN CRACKERS.
11. And to top off your night why not head to Clifford’s Tower, which was obviously built just for people to roll down.
12. Good news. Thanks to the location of the Nestlé factory, the city smells of chocolate if the wind is heading in the right direction.
13. They’ve also gotten rid of the FTR buses aka. the scary bendy futuristic accordion that wants to kill.
14. Don’t forget the sheer determination of the people of York. When the River Ouse spectacularly floods each year…
… nearly everything continues to open as normal.
NOTHING WILL SHUT “THE LOWTHER” PUB. NOTHING.
17. Rowntree’s philanthropy and FRUIT PASTILLES.
18. THESE MAZES.
19. GUY FAWKES NIGHT.
Why? Guy Fawkes was from York.
20. And of course, inspiration for the greatest city in the WHOLE WIDE BLOODY WORLD, New York*.
Don’t check. For goodness sake don’t fact check that.