By Aaron Smith
With cotton candy armpits and sugary
Crevices, sweat glazing your donut skin.
Have you ever been fat, Brad?
Have you ever wanted a Snickers
More than love and lain on your bed
While the phone rang and rolled one
On your tongue, afraid to eat it, afraid
It would make your jeans too tight? Have you
Barfed, Brad, because you ate it,
Ate all the take-out, licked
Brown sauce off the box while you sobbed?
Brad Pitt down in the pits chaining menthol
Ciggys in your thick-wallet life,
It’s not so bad Brad, sad Brad, is it?
- Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore is dropping out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. He got 133 votes in New Hampshire.
- MLB issued its first-ever lifetime ban for performance enhancing drugs to New York Mets' Jenrry Mejia.
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz.
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