16 Things Part-Asian People Are Sick Of Hearing

Call us mixed, Hapa, part Asian, or ethnically ambiguous. Whatever our backgrounds, here is how to not approach us at a bar.

1. "Nice to meet you. So...what are you?"

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Well, I’m a female; a city-dweller; a writer. You don't even want to ask me what I do for a living before inquiring as to what continents came together to make my skin this color? Let’s just refer to me as a human, deal? Deal.

2. "You look Indian."

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Awesome. I'm not, though.

3. "You look Middle Eastern."

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Awesome. I'm not, though.

4. "You look Mexican."

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Awesome. I'm not, though.

5. "You don't look Asian. There's no way you're Asian."

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Thanks white stranger #20, for bequeathing your opinion after scanning my facial features for stereotypes. I'll be sure to give my DNA the memo.

6. "Well…you don't look like other Asians I know."

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There are 52 unique nations in Asia, all with vastly diverse populations. Therefore, we tend to look different. Were you expecting something like this?

7. "Oh! Now that I think about it, I can see it in your eyes."

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8. "So, do you do any Asian things?"

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Are you expecting me to own a rice cooker, wear Hello Kitty socks, karate chop bad guys in dark alleyways or have a spectacular penchant for solving equations? (I do own a rice cooker but this is not the point.)

9. “I’ve heard of 'Asian glow.' Do you get that?”

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Yes. Let's not talk about it.

10. "Does your dad have yellow fever?"

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Did someone try to shoot the stork that delivered you? Fun fact!: It’s not only men that seek out Asian women; there are plenty of women who are ethnically adventurous with their romances, too. And, mixed couples make beautiful babies. You’re welcome, eyeballs of the world.

11. "Why is your hair so different?"

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My scalp contains no genetic anomalies. I know it looks like there’s a bear sleeping up there, but it’s part of the cards the almighty hair gods dealt me. Thank goodness for Argan Oil!

12. "How do you describe yourself? Do you ever go through an identity crisis?”

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You mean, do I sometimes grapple with whether I'm a Californian or a New Yorker? Or whether I should be a “Miss” or a “Ms.”? Having mixed parents doesn't mean I'm born with a predisposition to break down existentially. I'm a strong, independent human, thanks!

13. "¿Hablás Español?"

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I do, actually. Many Americans do. But, I see you’ve taken note of my dark hair and caramel tan and assumed that I need a leg up in the communication department. Did I mention that I was strong and independent?

14. "Do you know how to make sushi?"

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Actually, I do know how to make sushi — I’m not Japanese, but I wanted to learn how to feed myself delicious things. Also, there aren’t just Chinese and Japanese people in Asia. Have you tried Malaysian food? It’s delicious.

15. "Woah! You speak Filipino? You don't even look Filipino!"

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You do know that anyone can learn Filipino, right? Also, yes — how else would I know what my grandmother was yelling at me?

16. "Were you Mulan, Pocahontas, or Jasmine for Halloween?"

Just because I look exotic doesn’t mean I have to confine myself to Pocahontas costumes. I look pretty fly in my Ariel wig thankyouverymuch.

Essentially...if you're not careful,

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