29 Lessons Film School Actually Teaches You

Lights, camera, midterms.

1. “Film” is a pretty ironic title for your major, since you never shoot on the stuff.

“Wtf is this shit?”

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2. A good director of photography is irreplaceable. Except by a kid with their own steadicam rig.

What’s his name again? Whatever, the shot looks great.

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3. And anyone with a car has a guaranteed spot on your crew.

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4. The second most important person on set is the director. The most important person on set is the PA who delivers the coffee and pizza.

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5. Some film lingo just never leaves your vocabulary.

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6. Flirting with the people running the equipment checkout counter is sometimes the only way to get all the gear you need.

And maybe even a nicer camera. Maybe.

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7. Besides just outright bribing them.

But probably with an offer to AD for them instead of money.

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8. Bad lighting is reason enough to hate a movie, redecorate your entire apartment, and leave a restaurant mid-meal.

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9. Nothing will make your dorm room look like anything besides a dorm room, no matter how inspired your art direction.

Never shoot in your dorm. Unless your location is a dorm. Then, use your friend’s.

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10. “Producer” is just a code word for “you will never sleep again.”

At least until post.

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11. Dolly shots are gorgeous, and impressive, and take like seven hours to get 12 seconds of decent footage.

They’ve been on that one take for four days.

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12. Bad sound is the quickest way to turn your masterpiece into an 8th grade class project.

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13. Anyone still hanging this poster in their room is probably terrible.

We get it, you like non-linear narratives. Don’t be That Guy.

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14. You will try and shoot party scenes that look like this.


They won’t.

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15. You will constantly beg your friends to be extras. They will not want to.

Wake up at 6am and stand around for eight hours? Nah, I’m cool.

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16. So you will spend a large portion of your production budget paying them back.

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17. Special effects makeup is pricey, but worth it.

If it doesn’t turn out looking hilariously cheesy.

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18. You can never, ever break the 180 degree rule.

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19. Except when you TOTALLY CAN.

Courtesy of Objective Productions

Break whatever rules you want! Nothing matters! Anarchy!

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20. “Auditions” always end in you casting your friends anyway.

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21. Weekends are for shooting. Weekdays are for elective classes and drinking.

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22. Sometimes your professors assign you films to watch just to troll you.

It’s art!

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23. You can never give yourself too much credit.

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24. No one should have let you screen your terrible Freshman projects in front of living, breathing human people.

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25. “Magic Hour” is the only time of day that matters.

Quick, shoot the whole film!

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26. Editing mistakes are just the worst.



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27. You’ve seen everything before and can’t help but spoil movies for your non-film friends.

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28. Which is why no one actually wants to watch a movie with you anymore.

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29. But that’s okay. They’ll be paying money to see your movies soon enough.

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