21 Things You’ll Only Know If You’ve Worked In Retail

Besides “people are kinda terrible.”

1. Sometimes you have to turn on the charm, no matter your mood.

“How can I help you?”

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2. Hangers should always face inward. Otherwise the world descends into chaos.

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3. “Let me check in the back for you” = opportunity for a mini-break.

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4. You become a machine at folding shirts. Crisply.

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5. Customer being rude? Snapping at you? Take a deep breath. Otherwise you’ll throttle them.

Do not punch face, do not punch face, do not punch face…

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6. Relying on your coworkers for back-up is the only way to get through the day.

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7. People will buy anything if it’s “buy one get one half off.”

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8. Nice customers get sale prices that technically ended an hour ago. Jerk customers don’t.

You are judge, jury, and executioner cashier.

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9. People will do unspeakable things in fitting rooms.

Behind those curtains lurk Eldritch horrors the likes of which drive men insane. And require a mop.

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10. You deal with plenty of non-English speakers, and learn to say the same 10 words in six languages.

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11. And you memorize sizing across two sexes and three continents.

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12. You become a pro at hiding from your manager so you can text on the floor.

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13. Nothing scares you after dealing with holiday weekend crowds.

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14. You develop the ability to spend two hours folding three pairs of jeans.

Just really swamped over here.

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15. You can also cash out the registers, clean and close the entire store in under seven minutes.

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16. Forced listening to the same store soundtrack for months on end does strange things to a person.

Please, no more John Mayer. Please.

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17. This is a Brannock device. It’s a useful tool, except in the summer, when it’s a instrument of torture.

Bare feet in sandals all day + sweat + close to your face = hell.

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18. The stock room can be even more treacherous than the floor.

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19. It’s not worth picking up smoking just to get extra 5-minute breaks. Probably.

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20. Work uniforms don’t have to be washed after every shift— until you help a really smelly customer.

Then burn your uniform and get a new one.

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21. It’s crucial to be friendly with employees when you’re out shopping for yourself.

You’ve been there before. You know the struggle.

ID: 1346491

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