1. You never drunk text anymore, and can wake up after a night of drinking without frantically checking your phone.
TEN SHOTS LATER AND I DIDN’T EMBARRASS MYSELF OVER TEXT. I AM KING OF EVERYTHING.
2. People have stopped talking like this in your feed.
3. You’ve made another Tumblr just to follow all the weird stuff and porn you like so you can safely scroll through your regular dash at work.
Nothing to see here, move along.
4. Your friends have almost entirely stopped Instagramming drunk photos of themselves.
5. Some friends have even taken up posting pictures of themselves with their kids.
When did we get old enough to reproduce? Don’t you need a license for that or something?
6. You’ve stopped messing around with winkyfaces when arranging a hookup.
7. You worry about anonymous hookup apps because oh god what if they’re a coworker???
Have I seen those abs around the office?
8. Everyone on Facebook is getting all responsible.
9. Someone on a dating app offered to get somewhat serious and you didn’t immediately vomit in your mouth.
10. And your Twitter feed has been infiltrated by reliable news sources.
You still follow plenty of hot celebrities, but now you know when they get arrested.
11. You almost care about LinkedIn. Almost.
12. Your feed is starting to flood with friends’ engagement photos.
Which is….good and bad.
13. Snapchat has become a tool for making plans or showing friends your whereabouts.
Not a dick pic for miles.
14. Your stupid Facebook arguments have switched from being about movies and TV to politics.
15. People have finally stopped inviting you to play Farmville, GLORY HALLELUJAH!
16. Your profile picture is just a normal photo of you, instead of a fad image.
17. And you’ve started to lose track of all the different social networking tools people use.
What? Why? Why any of this?