19 Perks Of Being A Barista

Death before decaf.

1. You smell like dark-roasted sex after work.

Cheaper than cologne.

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2. The screech of coffee beans being ground has gone from “torture” to “I could fall asleep to this.”

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3. Whenever you’re tired at work, free coffee is right there to revive you.

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4. You get to be the fabled Cute Barista some of your customers swoon over.

Caffeine: secret aphrodisiac.

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5. Which means moves like this might actually result in a date:

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6. You get to be a coffee snob in your own home.

You buy the good stuff. You earned it.

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7. Your refined palate can tell the difference between four pumps of hazelnut flavor syrup and three-and-a-half pumps.

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8. You’re a pro at (literally) not crying over spilled milk, even though it’s sticky and gross and ugh I can’t even.

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9. The instant job gratification when your customers take the first sip of a job well done.

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10. “Appropriate work attire” includes all manner of piercings, half-sleeve tattoos, and band T-shirts.

As long as you wear your apron.

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11. You get to make awesome tip jars.


Not to mention the tips themselves.

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12. You can get creative experimenting with new types of drinks.

“It’ll taste awesome, I promise.”

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13. Espresso shots? Sure, let’s DO this shit.

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14. You don’t trifle with that “grande” nonsense when you’re out ordering your own coffee.

Everyone understands “medium” just fine.

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15. Memorizing regular customers’ orders can totally make their day.

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16. You can impress people with all your crazy foam-art skills.

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17. You can properly distinguish between a latte and a cappuccino.

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18. You develop a taste for more obscure drinks, like the painfully classy London fog.

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19. Most importantly, you make a damn fine cup of coffee.

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