What Being Unemployed Is Actually Like

It’s all about the comfy clothes, daytime television, and endlessly searching LinkedIn.

1. It’s a little like 1999 sometimes

It’s always all “hit me baby one more time” up in your house. Sports bras and sweat pants all day errrday

you probably even dance around and sing it too, all alone, in a place of unemployment produced solitude

3. You’ve seen day time soaps, all of them, and you just don’t understand

Because you will never understand how people want to stay home and watch their stories. If anything, General Hospital is driving you TO employment, quickly.

4. But you totally understand this

6. And also this..

Because you know there is no finer source of entertainment

7. You have stopped buying regular clothing altogether

You might have about 23872394872 pairs by now

8. Like who needs business clothes anyway…

You know NOTHING will ever make your rear look as good as your yogas do, and that’s a fact

9. You are hardly aware that this time comes twice a day

You are well rested, every day, and thankful for it

10. THIS is how you spend your early afternoons

Because the 12 and under crowd is really quite hilarious and you enjoy fighting with them, even though light cursing “your mom” cracks are all they’ve got

11. Two Words: Bubble Bath

You take the longest bubble baths your little non-working heart desires. No one to steal your hot water and no one to judge your over-use of bubbles

12. You could chronicle friend’s social media not-so-humblebrags

And you HATE them for it

13. And even worse…

Die, die in hellfire.

14. However at the end of the day

Maybe it’s not so bad

15. Because you are hopeful that one day someone will recognize your potential and you will land the job of your dreams

…right?

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