3. Other Spanish speakers make fun of “the lisp” whenever you speak.
I don’t care what you say, it’s pronounced Bar-ZE-lona!
4. Your favorite soccer team is neither Real Madrid nor Barcelona, but it’s a lot easier to just say they are.
Valencia? Athletic Bilbao? Sevilla? There are like 20 other teams in La Liga, guys!
5. You’ve said this more than once: “No, not that kind of tortilla”
This kind, the better, tastier kind.
6. Remember when we used to be the worst at sports? Now we get to gloat.
FIFA champs, basketball champs in both sexes, Euro Cup champs, tennis stars, synchronized swimming, handball pros — we’re finally the country to beat.
7. You’ve been forced to wear a traditional/regional costume at least once.
You’d burn the photos if you could.
8. Your relatives congratulate you on your “Saint’s Day.”
Birthday, Saint’s Day, it’s really all the same.
9. People can’t seem to grasp that you’re Spanish because you “don’t look it.”
What does that even mean?!
10. Sometimes the food you eat grosses your friends out.
Calamares? Morcilla? Goat heads? ALL DELICIOUS.
11. You’ve got a huge family, though you probably don’t know all of them.
Going by how many people I call “cousin,” I have about 30 of them. Some of whom aren’t my blood relatives.
12. Usually, you spend some portion of the summer or holiday break in Spain because most of your relatives still live there. Everyone will tell you how lucky you are to go.
Unless your family resides in a big city, you’re stuck in a small town, drinking at the same bars and running into random neighbors. Your grandparents will still not have an internet connection.
13. Though when you do go to Spain, people your age think you’re immediately cool for being American/British/foreign.
Bask in the glow while you can.
14. You know that real churros are covered in sugar and are best served with hot chocolate.
I don’t know what that cinnamon-covered monstrosity is, but it sure ain’t a churro.
15. You’ve had all your friends ask you for help on their Spanish homework. And even some mooches sitting next to you in class.
It’s annoying whether you speak Spanish or not.
16. In your family, gossip travels at the speed of light. Maybe faster.
“She’s dating THAT guy? Aye dios mio!”