Dude’s stayed out of trouble for 10 years. Even his ex-wife came out and said he’s changed his ways.

Just reading the list sent me into a shame spiral

It’s called a fact because it’s true whether or not a person believes in it.

Bathtub. Too much contortion to reach everywhere.

Half a cup of tea and a stack of envelopes. But I’ve already comes to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t survive the zombie apocalypse.

This happened on the same planet I live on?

Hotdish is fucking awesome, and belongs to the UPPER Midwest.

What does using a bidet for the first time feel like? And do you wipe first? Or after? Or both? And are you squatting over that thing or sitting on it? And would you miss it if you got used to it and then stopped? And you only use it after number two, right? Or both times?

Goes back to the beginning but why would they pick an unreliable, gas-guzzling Winnebago in the first place? I mean, 90% of the population is (un)dead, they could have picked any car they wanted. I don’t know why they didn’t go with the Hyundai sooner, and gotten a few of them.

Douchebag