Benson's Boys

A definitive ranking (according to me) of the men in Olivia Benson's life. Good and Bad. Here they are.

22. Ruben Morales

Via vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net

Olivia is the type of woman that doesn't update her iPhone on time. She needed him for the the technical expertise.

21. Dale Stuckey

Via vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net

Bing. Bang. Bong. So annoying. The pain in the side of Manhattan Special Victims Unit. He killed Ryan (I'll never forgive him for that). He tried to kill Elliot (I'll live with that). But, you hurt Olivia's partner (secret sex friend), you hurt Olivia. So, you hurt me.

20. Dean Porter

Via vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net

Elliot was right not to trust this shady motherf**ker. But, he wanted himself some Olivia Benson. Thank you Elliot Stabler for your fabulous c**k block.

19. Bayard Ellis

Via sitcomsonline.com

I mean... He may or may not have let the cat out the bag. He ruined LIVID. Boo you, Bayard Ellis.

18. Ed Tucker

Via blogger.com

He is not in a relationship with Olivia Benson. He never was. And he never will be. He is simply around to jam up the squad on some bulls**t. And he's always lurking around the corner to catch you on an off day. But, he did come through in the clutch that one time. So, I'll give him a pass. TUCKSON is not a thing!

17. Simon Marsden

Via imfdb.org

Baby Brother Simon. He's important because he is her only family- the link to her less than stellar past. And plus, his f**k-ups make Olivia look like a normal person. Because, we all know she is a little strange sometimes and does some out-of-the-box stuff.

16. George Huang

Via vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net

This is who I wish was Olivia's brother. He kept it 100 at all times! This man called Olivia on her s**t on numerous occasions. And I respect that. Plus, he's a good shrink.

15. Rafael Barba

Via tumblr.com

Her other snazzy hypothetical little brother. (Mariska said this! She asked a group of people- I was there- about "ships". Someone said Barba and she said, "He's like my brother.") But, back to the topic... He is all business. Not my favorite ADA, but he's solid and has Olivia's back on cases. (Alex and Casey did whatever they wanted on the regular) Not a thing: BARSON

14. Declan Murphy

Nbc / Michael Parmelee / NBC / Via cimg.tvgcdn.net

Rough and tumble. He's a crass genius that really prepped Olivia to be CO. And when he came back, she was all, "whaaaaa?"

13. Trevor Langan

Via img2.wikia.nocookie.net

He may defend scum (and Olivia) but he helped her get a baby. And she owes him for that. If I ever get into some s**t, I'm calling Trevor. Because he's one of like 10 Defense Attorneys in Manhattan.

12. Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.

Via blogger.com

Sonny. The ultimate fanboy of the squad. She actually hates him. I can see it in her eyes when his says dumb s**t. But, she doesn't want to be short-staffed, so he gets to stay. I think losing the mustache helped. He stopped looking like a perp and more like a detective.

11. Eli Stabler

Via vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net

She helped birth him. Considering that's not her job and he's her partner's (secret sex friend) baby... that seems like it would stick with her for a while.

10. Calvin Arliss (Benson)

Via pbs.twimg.com

Olivia's FATS (first and true son). Ugh, she was about ready to die from the feels when he signed his name "Calvin Benson". He was her first taste of motherhood and we all cried when he was ripped from her arms. I'm still salty af.

9. David Haden

Via vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net

LIVID. In theory, David was perfect for Olivia. They were both attractive. They had chemistry. They both took their jobs seriously. And my favorite part: SECRET. But, the way it ended. Bye Felicia...

8. John Munch

Via assets.nydailynews.com!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen

Cynical and sweet. He was there in the beginning. When she was a wee babe. Still wet behind the ears. And he's watched her grow into a fierce dominant BAMF. He's Munch.

7. Fin Tutuola

Via pinterest.com

The OG. Ponytail or a buzz cut- he sticks by Olivia. Fin just wants to see her happy. He's the only man tall enough to reach a doorknob that hasn't walked out on her.

I know. That's messed up.

6. Nick Amaro

Via blogger.com

He was only her partner for a short while. And they went through a rough patch. But, man, oh, man were they a good team. They were dedicated to the job and to each other. He was constantly getting into trouble and Olivia was constantly fighting for him. #Friends4Life BENSARO is also not a thing.

5. Donald Cragen

Via blog.buyverizon.com

True: "That's my girl."

False: "You just used your Get Out of Jail Free card. There's only one in the pack." (She has like 9000 Get Out of Jail Free cards)

She stabbed him with the pickle.

4. Brian Cassidy

Via vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net

That boyfriend. The one that none of your friends liked. The one that you can CLEARLY do better than. The one that sticks by you despite all those things. They worked so well together. She loves Brian. And he loves her too. BENSIDY is endgame for me.

3. Elliot Stabler

Justin Stephens / © NBC Universal, Inc. / Via static.tvtropes.org

Her partner (secret sex friend). Her work-husband. Her best friend. Her longest relationship with a man. So many things can be said about why Elliot is so f**king important to her. But, lets leave it at how wrecked she was when he left.

2. William Lewis

Via tumblr.com

She can never go back. He changed her forever.

1. Noah Porter Benson

Nbc / Michael Parmelee / NBC / Via i.huffpost.com

They did it. He's all that matters.