1. So, you have to book a flight. You know you should have started this process a lot sooner.
2. You hit up Kayak and Hipmunk.
3. Hullo, what’s this? One airline’s flights seem to be much cheaper than the others.
5. You’ve never heard of this airline. But as soon as you say “$40 less” to your friends, they say to book it stat. So you do. Perhaps it’s a rare reward from the universe for procrastinating.
6. Big day’s here! You head to the airport, carry-on bag in tow. You’re so glad your flight gets in at 6 p.m. so you can enjoy Friday and Saturday night with your buddies.
7. You didn’t check in online, so you do it at the airport. Wait. What? $50 for your extremely carefully packed carry-on? There must be a misunderstanding.
8. “Actually,” the nonplussed Spirit Airlines attendant informs you, “you could have paid just $35, had you checked in online. Yes, for your carry-on. Better travel with just a purse next time like a lady of the night, dawg.”
(A real checked bag, that’s another $30 to $45.)
9. Now, you must pay $10 to print your Spirit Airlines boarding pass.
10. The fun is only just beginning. Your flight is probably delayed, because guess what? Spirit has a small fleet of planes, meaning any delay whatsoever in the hours leading up to your flight will affect you.
11. Hope you’re not traveling with a friend or family member, because you have to pay to sit with them.
12. Oh yes, and the seats don’t recline. Perhaps you’re willing to pay $50 for the “Big Front Seats”?
13. Hey, at least you don’t have to pay for Wi-Fi. BECAUSE THERE IS NONE!
14. Disgruntled, disheartened, you board the plane hours later. You are losing Friday night with your friends. You ask for water. You are told the water is $3.
15. Tiring to wait at a gate for hours, huh? Want a pillow? A blanket? Get both, for $7.
16. You calculate the cost of your Spirit Airlines adventure. It wasn’t, in fact, the cheapest flight you could have gotten, all things considered.
18. You just cherish the time you have on the ground until you have to fly Spirit back home. And take solace in the shared suffering on Twitter.
Spirit airlines, I hate you.
Spirit Airlines is really the worst.
Spirit airlines is absolutely the worst airline for booking. $100 a checked bag? ! Charging for choosing your seat? ! Total crap!!
- The death penalty should still be considered for Colorado theater shooter James Holmes, a jury decided.