Best thing you could do! You are empowering her in a patriarchal society that sorely needs to open it’s collective eyes.

Where’s Harper Lee? Sherri S. Tepper? J K Rowling?

Ah, yes! Hiding behind the “It was satire!” after getting a bunch of people pissed off at you, maneuver. Fat shaming, Alex? Really? Guess it must make you feel like a big douche-bag to be able to slam on women and their body shapes because YOU are so effing perfect. Right? Wrong. So, soooo wrong.  I have seen men’s fashion and they are pretty bad - can we say “hobbit pants”? Or swim trunks down below your knees? Men’s fashions encourage men to be overweight so they can ‘hide’ within their superbaggy clothes. Do I make a video shaming them? No, even if I feel that way I don’t go to such lengths. Start letting people (yes, even women! *gasp*) wear what they like and having the grace to let others have their fantasies. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Gas line? HA! That was Billy Bob’s still splodin’! I tol him nawt to put more firewood on the fire unner that old still but he’s a stubborn one. Jes goes to show you! Lissen to me nex time!

Oh, PUHLEEZE! No one is crying ‘poor mouth’ and how they just don’t have the money to buy you presents in August like they are sooooo busted at Christmastime! CRY ME A RIVER!!!

OH! You are soooooo right! We have been screwed, big time!

A Christmas season birthday is the worst! Never a school party, EVER! No decent presents because parents are ‘tapped out’ for Christmas. WTF is wrong with parents? Don’t they understand the crappy dynamics of what we endure? Guess they don’t give an eff.

OH, PUHLEEZE!! You want sad? You want a rotten birthday? TRY any day between Dec 25th and New Year’s Day!  NO ONE is ever available for YOUR birthday. They are broke! No presents for you!  School is CLOSED! Parents tell the kids to “pick a present that’s under the tree for YOUR birthday present!”  No ONE sings “Happy Birthday” to you in school.  Gimme a break! At least, in the summer, you aren’t freezing your gonads off just for a piece of birthday cake!!

wow, what a party-downer you are. Glad I don’t know you…

Shake Shack needs to fix Poochinis and add BACON to their recipe and every dog will, forever, be loyal to that place.