“I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t have a children’ menu. This is a gastropub.”
5. When a table pretends you don’t exist.
“Sir, I believe this is your clam chowder? Sir?”
“Sir? I’ve got your piping hot clam chowder here.”
6. When someone doesn’t tip for absolutely no reason.
You can’t afford to tip? Don’t eat out.
8. Not dropping things.
You may or may not have had a nightmare that involves a tray of martinis.
10. Cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning.
Did I mention cleaning? Because cleaning.
14. And how they believe if a customer sends something back or wants to modify an order, it is YOUR idea.
But how when something’s the kitchen’s fault, they’re all like:
“You are right, ma’am, that chicken is raw.”
15. That if you don’t speak Spanish, you can swear in it.
19. The other servers, too.
Is there a phrase more evil than “tip pooling”?
20. Especially that one who’s letting the job get to her a little too much.
Though it is fun to bitch about your manager with her.
21. You pay everything, including your rent, in cash.
Taxes? What’s taxes?
23. You rock the sexiest footwear.
Yes, you’ve left work and gone out in these bad boys.
24. In all seriousness, though, being a server can be awesome, especially when you’ve finally closed.
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