The 25 Most Awesome Things About Being A Server

Everybody should work at least a month in a restaurant before they’re allowed to eat in one.

1. Being cheery.

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2. Being polite.

Even if you are not polite in your mind.

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3. Heeding every request.

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4. Kids.

“I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t have a children’ menu. This is a gastropub.”

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5. When a table pretends you don’t exist.

“Sir, I believe this is your clam chowder? Sir?”

“Sir? I’ve got your piping hot clam chowder here.”

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6. When someone doesn’t tip for absolutely no reason.

You can’t afford to tip? Don’t eat out.

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7. How even if a dish looks like this when you drop it off…

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This is what it looks like when you pick it back up.

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8. Not dropping things.

You may or may not have had a nightmare that involves a tray of martinis.

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9. Finding things in the POS.

Look at how forced her smile is.

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10. Cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning.

Did I mention cleaning? Because cleaning.

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11. Sidework.

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12. That even if this is what the front of house looks like:

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This is what the back looks like:

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13. Chefs.

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14. And how they believe if a customer sends something back or wants to modify an order, it is YOUR idea.

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But how when something’s the kitchen’s fault, they’re all like:

“You are right, ma’am, that chicken is raw.”

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15. That if you don’t speak Spanish, you can swear in it.

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16. This is your dinner.

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17. You eat it standing up.

And yes, you maybe eat it in the walk in.

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18. Your manager.

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19. The other servers, too.

Is there a phrase more evil than “tip pooling”?

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20. Especially that one who’s letting the job get to her a little too much.

Though it is fun to bitch about your manager with her.

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21. You pay everything, including your rent, in cash.

Taxes? What’s taxes?

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22. Though you’re uninsured, you do have a good doctor.

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23. You rock the sexiest footwear.

Yes, you’ve left work and gone out in these bad boys.

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24. In all seriousness, though, being a server can be awesome, especially when you’ve finally closed.

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Because nobody parties like people in the service industry.

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In sum:

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25. See you Friday at 5.

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