1. The North Island’s aptly named Ninety Mile Beach does not care if you don’t visit it.
(Okay, it’s actually 55 miles long.)
2. The Bay of Plenty is plenty fine as is, thank you.
3. The bustling metropolis of Auckland wasn’t excited to show you a great time.
4. Hobbiton aka THE SHIRE doesn’t require you, thanks.
5. The Waitomo Glow Worm Cave doesn’t care if you come. You’ve probably seen something like it before, anyway.
6. The volcanically active town of Rotorua will not miss you.
7. Tongariro National Park isn’t disappointed you’re not coming.
Even if it prepared this rainbow just for you.
8. Wellington, a creative capital teeming with things to do, doesn’t need you to do the things.
9. The dreamy Marlborough Sounds? Gateway to the Marlborough vineyards?
Oh they don’t mind if you don’t come wine tasting.
10. Abel Tasman National Park’s white sand beaches’ feelings aren’t hurt.
And its fern forests are A-OK. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. JUST A FOREST OF FERNS.
11. The gorgeous coast of Kaikoura will manage.
As will this whale that lives there.
Even though this one that spent a lot of time perfecting this trick NBD.
12. The drive to pleasant Akaroa near Christchurch will remain pleasant you or no you.
13. The surreally beautiful Moeraki boulders on the Otago coast will remain surreally beautiful.
14. Same goes for the “pancake rocks” of Paparoa National Park, on the remote West Coast.
Nature’s only been creating them for 30 million years.
15. The windswept Catlin Coast, on the very southern tip of the South Island, will remain windswept, breathtaking, potentially life changing without you.
16. And the desolate MacKenzie Valley obviously prefers solitude.
17. The Routeburn Track doesn’t care if you don’t come hike it.
Looks like a rotten time.
These Keas — mountain parrots — aren’t waiting for you there.
I’m sure there are mountain parrots all over the place wherever you are.
19. Queenstown doesn’t want you to come adventuring there.
What, gondola rides, jet boats, bungee jumping, skydiving, skiing — you’re not into any of those right?