23 Signs You Did Mock Trial

Do your parents say, “Don’t Mock Trial me”? Do you say “objection” in regular conversation?

1. You watch Law & Order the way regular people watch sports.

“Well, I would have objected lack of personal knowledge.”

ID: 1357567

2. Your parents still say, “Don’t mock trial me.”

ID: 1357315

3. If you have to interact with the police, never fear, you have case law on your side.

Turns out sitting through pretrial was good for something.

ID: 1357291

4. You still take notes on these.

Look at the length on that baby. That’s what I’m talking about.

ID: 1362182

5. You still work out/sleep in shirts such as this:

ID: 1357572

6. You have posed for this photograph many, many times.

ID: 1357395

(Don’t forget the funny version.)

ID: 1361625

7. You don’t see a courtroom, you see an arena.

ID: 1361728

8. You don’t see girls in pantsuits, you see warriors.

ID: 1362157

9. You know that with a great suit comes great power.

ID: 1357374

10. You accidentally use mock trial terms — like “strike that” or “sustained” — in day-to-day conversation.

You hear bad gossip? Objection heresay.
Someone derails a conversation? Objection relevance.

ID: 1357337

11. It was hard to break the habit of saying “your honor” at the end of every sentence.

“Yes, your honor.”

ID: 1357875

12. You had a signature hand gesture, like this:

The classic “waiting for the defendant to walk into the death trap that is my cross” fingertip touch.

ID: 1357421

Or this:

The “why would he have said that if he hadn’t already known the files were missing” hyperbolic faux shrug.

ID: 1357248

Or this:

All fingers together now: “Meanwhile my client, who is mourning the loss of her close friend and classmate, sits here today accused of a crime she did not commit.”

ID: 1361852

13. You also had a signature strut.

“The evidence will show…”

ID: 1361766

14. And a game face.

One you did not break even after delivering a perfect close.

ID: 1357580

15. Though on the inside you went:

ID: 1362003

16. Oh, and when your opponent slipped up? You knew it and you nailed ‘em.

“May I direct the court’s attention to the second page of the defendant’s statement to the police…”

ID: 1357771

17. Not that you didn’t have your moments of sheer panic, too.

ID: 1357667

18. At least someone always had your back.

ID: 1357673

19. Especially your coach.

ID: 1357700

20. (Also caffeine.)

ID: 1361727

21. Today, when you tell your friends you did mock trial they’re like…

ID: 1357483

22. And then when you try to explain it they’re like:

“So your school’s prosecution faces the opposing’s team defense while a judge, who’s not judging but just acting as judge — you know what? Never mind.”

ID: 1357434

23. But if you’re honest with yourself…

ID: 1357519

It helped shape you into the person you are today.

ID: 1357526

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