The Wright Brothers Respond To Their Haters

If they'd listened, they'd never have invented the airplane.

On Airplanes

Wright Bros. / Via en.wikipedia.org

Orville: They call us crazy! They say, "If man were meant to fly, God would have given us wings!"

Wilbur: Nay! We will use science and human ingenuity to give man the power of flight!

On SCUBA Equipment

NA / Via en.wikipedia.org

Orville: They say, "If man were meant to breathe underwater, God would have given us gills!"

Wilbur: Nay! For we should strive to be more like birds! And birds can't breathe underwater!

Orville: Right–wait, what?

On Mechanical Tails

en.wikipedia.org

en.wikipedia.org

Orville: If God wanted us to have a tail, He would have given us tails!

Wilbur: But think of the accomplishments mankind could achieve if we had tails!

Orville: Like what?

Wilbur: Um…

Orville: Did you already sew a tail onto your clothes?

Wilbur: I didn't not do that.

On Bicycles

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Orville: God has nothing against bicycles. Bicycles already exist. We don't have to invent them.

Wilbur: I also surgically implanted a bunch of feathers onto my body.

On Airplanes, Again

NA / Via en.wikipedia.org

Orville: What's that glued to your face?

Wilbur: It's a beak. You know, for flying.

Orville: But beaks aren't part of–

Wilbur: I like the beak.

On The Raw Food Diet

Mikhail Kokhanchikov / Getty Images

Orville: I'm having a hard time defending you anymore, Wilbur.

Wilbur: Check it out, I'm eating worms now.

Orville: I know it, buddy.

On Low-Cost Housing

Mactrunk / Getty Images

Orville: Brother, if God meant for us to be birds, we would have been born birds!

Wilbur: I turned sticks and garbage into a nest.

Orville: [sigh] I don't think you're going to get healthy again, are you, Wilbur?

Wilbur: Please, call me Wilbird.