The 10 Best Jobs For The Next 10 Years

These are the hot jobs of the future.

As Baby Boomers get older and technology continues to advance, a lot will change in the next decade–and that could be good news for your career.

Here are the high-paying jobs that will have the most openings:

1. Home Health Care Assistant (aka Crud Butler aka Turd Sherpa)

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As the population ages, more and more people will require round-the-clock, in-home health care. A large part of this job involves disposing of human waste. It's a dirty job, but millions and millions of people will have to do it.

2. Junk Scrapper

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The world of the future will have more garbage dumps then ever, each one filled with valuable, deadly piles of discarded electronics. Armies of leather-clad, mask wearing junk collectors will roam these state-sized landfills, hunting for bits of lithium and silicon that can be traded for other rapidly dwindling resources.

3. Handsome Ne’er-Do-Well

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Here's a job that never goes out of style! You'll drift from town to town, bilking widows out of their Social Security checks and you'll look great doing it!

4. Casino Enforcer

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Within ten years, gambling will be legal in all 51 states (Brazil will be added as a state in 2023). And more gamblers means more big lugs needed to slap them around. Casino enforcers don't even have to identify cheaters–they just need to use hammers to crush the hands of anyone their bosses point out.

5. Money Collector (aka Millionaire)

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Being rich is a great job that should prove even more popular in the future than it is now.

6. Clone Wrangler

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Organs donated by specially bred clones will revolutionize health care. It will require thousands of workers to keep the clones in line and make sure they don't learn how to read.

7. Ice Sculptor

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Think ice sculptures are cool now? Think about how cool they'll be ten years from now when there's almost no fresh water left on the planet.

8. Lifeguard (aka Preemptive Murderer)

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Just like the firemen in Fahrenheit 451 who set fires instead of putting them out, the lifeguards of the next decade will guard the lives of good people by killing anyone who poses a danger to the state.

9. Doritos "Rock The House" White House X-Treme Intern

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The only way to score one of these plum gigs is to find a winning bag filled with special, silver-coated Doritos. But within ten years almost every government job will be won by lottery so you'll have plenty of chances to win!

10. Coma Patient

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However many new jobs are created in the next ten years, millions more will be lost. The most popular "job" of the next decade will be being placed in a voluntary, medically induced coma, minimizing your drain on society. Sleep well!