10 Things We Wish Took Less Than 10 Seconds

Because the world could always afford to be a bit more convenient. When you’re living in an age of ultra-fast technologies like the Samsung Series 9, you can’t help but notice how slow our day-to-day drudgeries seem in comparison.

1. Jury Duty

Maryland GovPics / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: mdgovpics

Out of all of our pesky national obligations, trudging through a day of jury duty is arguably the most annoying. The worst part? Nobody is exempt. Nobody.

(Please note: we also would’ve accepted “Watching Jury Duty starring Pauly Shore.”)

2. Awkward First Dates

Jamie Grill / Getty Images

Let’s make an awkward first date check-list! Print this out and take it on your next OKCupid outing, and maybe — just maybe — it’ll help the hours crawl by:

[ ] Nothing to talk about.
[ ] No sense of humor.
[ ] Is a decade older than their pictures.
[ ] Speaks exclusively in the third person.
[ ] Wears Crocs to dinner.
[ ] The words “I consider Ayn Rand a role model” are uttered.
[ ] Brings their mother along as a chaperone.
[ ] Is wearing not one, but two fedoras.
[ ] Pays for their meal with Spanish doubloons.
[ ] Is, in fact, a bear wearing human clothing.

3. Visiting The DMV

Vince / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: 25023895@N02

There are few things more soul crushing than the purgatorial cesspool of muddled legal documents and testy low-level government employees that is the Department of Motor Vehicles. If we were writing a list of “Best Places To Have An Existential Crisis,” the DMV would easily swipe the number one spot.

4. Going To The Dentist

Herry Lawford / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: herry

It may be one of life’s great necessary evils, but we’d give just about anything to skip out on the painful prodding, poking, scraping, and drilling that constitutes a routine dental check-up. It’s funny how minutes easily turn to hours and hours to days when a gloved hand is poking a power tool into your cavities. And by “funny” we mean “absolutely horrifying.”

5. Waiting In Line At The Post Office

tales of a wandering youkai / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: z0

Things proven by science to move faster than post office queues: a turtle coated in molasses, an oak tree maturing to adulthood, the earth’s tectonic plates, a hardened criminal learning to love, the American justice system (hey-o!), glaciers with nowhere important to be…we could go on.

6. Getting Through Airport Security

Jared and Corin / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: redjar

Here’s a fun group exercise: let’s discuss our most pleasant and efficient airport security experiences.



Exactly. In fact, let’s just call this one “Everything At All Pertaining To Airports Ever” and call it a day.

7. Riding Public Transportation

bettyx1138 / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: bettyx1138

You’re stuffed shoulder-to-shoulder with sweaty commuters, some seven-foot Samoan dude is standing on your feet, the train has screeched to a sudden halt in the graffiti-strewn subway tunnel, and an elderly gent’s just hocked a snotty cough on your trembling cheek. All excellent reasons to take up biking, if you ask us.

8. Trying To Fall Asleep

The only thing worse than laying awake during a restless night, pleading for the sweet siren song of sleep to wash over you? Knowing you have to wake up for work in a couple of hours.

9. Calling Tech Support

Douglas Woods / CC BY 2.0 / Flickr: deerwooduk

“Please. Say. ‘Agent.’ If. You’d. Like. To. Speak. To. A. Customer. Service. Representative.”

“AGENT.”

“I’m. Sorry. I. Didn’t. Quite. Get. That.”

EVERY TIME.

10. Waiting For/Riding The Elevator

Gideon Tsang / CC BY-SA 2.0 / Flickr: gideon

Let’s put it this way: anything and everything that has to do with being sealed in a dangling metal box should be over in nine seconds at the most.

Inspired By: The Samsung Series 9

Samsung Series 9 / Via samsung.com

Introducing the new Samsung Series 9. At just 0.58 inches thin, you’ll rethink size. With a 9.1-second boot time, you’ll rethink speed. And with its head-turning design, you may just rethink your loyalties. Rethink the laptop at Samsung.com/series9.

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