36. Hermione Granger
Pros: She’s smart, beautiful, and brave. AND she has great teeth.
Cons: Do we all remember S.P.E.W.? Give it a rest, Hermione. Also, it just wasn’t meant to be.
35. Bellatrix Lestrange
Pros: She’s a bad girl ;)
Cons: No, like, she’s pure evil. She’s a convicted mass murderer. Oh, and she tried to kill Ron’s mom.
34. Dolores Umbridge
Pros: Um, she’s really well dressed?
Cons: She’s a masochistic, power-hungry authority figure. She also has a weird affinity for all things pink.
33. Bathilda Bagshot
Pros: Renowned magical historian? Can anyone say SEXY?
Cons: Minus points for Lord Voldemort reanimating her corpse to contain his pet snake Nagini to kill Harry.
32. Sybill Trelawney
Pros: She’s kooky, but she’s lovable.
Cons: You know she hasn’t showered since Armando Dippet was headmaster.
31. Rita Skeeter
Pros: She’s an expert at handling a quill.
Cons: She’d probably use Ron to get to Harry.
Pros: Ron would never have to do any chores ever again.
Cons: She’s an elf — not even a witch — with a drinking problem.
29. Professor Pomona Sprout
Pros: She isn’t afraid of getting her hands a little dirty.
Cons: She’s head of HUFFLEPUFF.
28. Millicent Bulstrode
Pros: She has a pulse.
Cons: Where do we begin? She’s a Slytherin, a member of the Inquisitorial Squad, and Ron once described her as “ugly.” Pass.
27. Mafalda Hopkirk
Pros: She works in the Ministry of Magic. Who doesn’t love a woman of power?
Cons: Hermione Polyjuiced into her once. AWKWARD.
26. Narcissa Malfoy
Pros: HAHAHA could you imagine the look on Draco’s face?
Cons: The Malfoys and Weasleys don’t exactly get along.
25. Pansy Parkinson
Pros: She’s a Slytherin. Sometimes, the heart wants what it shouldn’t have.
Cons: Ugh, she totally had a thing for Draco.
24. Madam Pomfrey
Pros: She knows her way around a wizard’s body.
Cons: She’s a little tightly wound for Ron.
23. Nymphadora Tonks
Pros: She’s a Metamorphmagus AND an Auror. That’s hot.
Cons: She died in the Battle of Hogwarts.
22. Padma Patil
Pros: Ron and Padma do have history together.
Cons: Unfortunately, that history is the Yule Ball, which was a complete and utter disaster.
21. Madam Pince
Pros: She doesn’t just let anyone into her restricted section.
Cons: She’s more “librarian” than “naughty librarian.”
20. Arabella Figg
Pros: You know she’s dying for some action after being cooped up with her cats for all these years.
Cons: She’s a Squib.
19. Professor Grubbly-Plank
Pros: She’s an expert at taming dangerous magical creatures.
Cons: You cannot betray Hagrid.
18. Katie Bell
Pros: Fellow Gryffindor, excellent Quidditch player.
Cons: Horrible taste in jewelry.
17. Moaning Myrtle
Pros: She may be a ghost, but she’s the horniest ghost in Hogwarts.
Cons: She lives in a toilet.
16. Madame Maxime
Pros: Human in the streets, giantess in the sheets.
Cons: Two words: HEIGHT. DIFFERENCE.
15. Cho Chang
Pros: She likes to date Quidditch players.
Cons: Does Ron really want Harry’s sloppy seconds?
14. Romilda Vane
Pros: She’s boy crazy.
Cons: Remember that time she tried to feed Harry a love potion and ended up nearly killing Ron? She’s easily the thirstiest girl at Hogwarts.
13. The Fat Lady
Pros: She’s big, beautiful, and has a sassy attitude.
Cons: She’s really just a painting, not a witch.
12. Lavender Brown
Pros: OK, so it didn’t work the first time. But maybe Won-Won should give her a second chance?
Cons: She’s more volatile than a Blast-Ended Skrewt.
11. Parvati Patil
Pros: Hotter than a phoenix, fellow Gryffindor.
Cons: She’s Lavender Brown’s BFF.
10. Madam Hooch
Pros: She knows how to mount a broomstick.
Cons: You know Ron would HATE that she’s better at Quidditch than he is.
9. Hannah Abbott
Pros: For a Hufflepuff, she’s pretty hot.
Cons: She’s still a Hufflepuff.
8. Fleur Delacour
Pros: She’s a grade-A wizarding babe who Ron always had the hots for.
Cons: Would you really expect Ron to steal Fleur from his brother Bill?
7. Alicia Spinnet
Pros: Exceptional Quidditch player and member of Dumbledore’s Army? Sounds like A-Spin is a total catch.
Cons: She might be a little too fierce for Ron.
6. Luna Lovegood
Pros: Her last name says it all.
Cons: She ends up marrying Rolf Scamander, Newt’s grandson. Ron isn’t a home wrecker.
5. Madam Rosmerta
Pros: Pretty much every young wizard’s fantasy is to be served gallons of Butterbeer by Rosmerta.
Cons: There was that time she tried to kill Dumbledore when she was under the Imperius Curse.
4. Gabrielle Delacour
Pros: If you can’t land Fleur, what about her sister?
Cons: She still might be a little young for Ron. She’s also part Veela.
3. Minerva McGonagall
Pros: McGonagall? More like McBadass!
Cons: She’s a bit…mature for Ron.
2. Angelina Johnson
Pros: Feminist, exceptional Chaser, Quidditch captain, fellow Gryffindor: AJ is the total package.
Cons: Now she is Mrs. George Weasley.