Snakes Are The Most Badass Animals On Earth

    They're FANGTASTIC.

    First of all, they're f*cking everywhere.

    They are stone cold SOBs. They literally NEVER blink.

    Snakes are also like, really, really pretty.

    From left, an emerald tree boa, an eyelash pit viper and an eastern coral snake. GORGEOUS, LADIES.

    They actually shotgun all of their food.

    I MEAN WHO EVEN KNOWS WHAT THE HELL THIS ANACONDA JUST ATE.

    Craziest of all is the egg-eating snake.

    This little guy will swallow an egg whole and spit out the shell when it is done digesting the nutrients. Talk about a boot and rally!

    Larger snakes like anacondas and pythons DGAF and will eat deer, wild pigs, caimans, and even jaguars.

    Also, anacondas are big. Like, the biggest snakes in the world.

    Hold the phone. We have a longer snake on our hands.

    Sort of like how human saliva glands secrete saliva, rattlesnakes have glands in their mouths that secrete toxins.

    Then there is the king cobra, WHICH IS FRICKING HUGE.

    Oh, and one bite from a king cobra is enough to kill an elephant.

    And you probably haven't heard of the Inland Taipan, but you should. One bite from this bad boy has enough venom to kill 100 men.

    And a bite from a black mamba has a 95 percent fatality rate.

    Spoiler Alert: Some snakes don't even need to bite to hurt you.

    And FYI, some snakes can FLY.

    Then there is the sidewinder, which has the illest dance moves.

    Watch out for the gaboon viper, who is a sneaky little bugger.

    And these bad boys are large and in charge.

    The moral of the story: Snakes rock.

    Because they're awesome, Indy. That's why.