1. If you grew up Muggle, it comes as QUITE the shock when you get your acceptance letter.
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2. Then you have to go to Diagon Alley. Shopping there is basically a NIGHTMARE. Why don’t wizards have Amazon?
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3. Also, there is always a chance you might end up in Knockturn Alley, which is basically a combination of the mall and HELL.
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4. On the Hogwarts Express, you might OD on sugar from Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Botts Every-Flavored Beans.
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5. And crossing Hogwarts’ lake can get a bit dicey if the weather is bad. At least the giant squid is there to save you!
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6. Then if you’re a first-year, The Sorting Hat will make basically the biggest decision of your life. Are you going to be a Gryffindor lunkhead? A Slytherin douchebag? A Hufflepuff dweeb? Or a Ravenclaw smartass?
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7. Seriously, how are you supposed to keep your figure while eating all the food in the Great Hall?
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8. Getting a Howler at lunch? Why can’t your mom just text you like a normal Muggle parent?
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9. Then you have to deal with classes. If you’re not in Slytherin, you’re TOAST when you have Snape.
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10. And no matter what house you’re in, McGonagall will NOT be impressed.
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11. There’s always the chance you might die during Care of Magical Creatures.
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12. Or a Venomous Tentacula or Mandrake might end you for good in Herbology.
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13. Also, how are you supposed to pass Divination? Does anyone ever know what the HELL is going on in Professor Trelawney’s class?
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14. Worst of all might be Defense Against the Dark Arts. If you’re lucky, you get a werewolf for a professor. On the flip side, you could end up with Lord Voldemort.
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15. If Hermione is in your class, good luck. Most of the time, she’ll make you look like a complete doofus.
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16. And Malfoy? He’s the Justin Bieber of Hogwarts, the spoiled brat who will make your life a living hell.
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17. In the hallway, you have to watch out for Filch and Mrs. Norris like your life depends on it.
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18. Peeves. Just, Peeves. No explanation necessary.
19. Finding your way to class is a nightmare. Not only are the staircases like escalators from hell, but you have to watch out for vanishing steps.
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20. If you’re a witch (or maybe even if you’re a wizard) you’ll definitely have your heart broken by Cedric Diggory.
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RIP Ced :(
21. And for the wizards, there is always the chance the thirstiest ghost in Hogwarts, Moaning Myrtle, might develop a crush on you.
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22. On Hogsmeade trips, there is always the chance you might bankrupt yourself at Honeydukes or Zonko’s Joke Shop.
23. And you definitely have to worry about getting a buzz off your Butterbeer addiction.
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24. Making your House’s Quidditch team isn’t an option, it HAS to happen.
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26. Also, there is casually a murderous patch of trees and killer magical creatures called the Forbidden Forest RIGHT NEXT TO SCHOOL. Charming!
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27. But even SCARIER than the Forbidden Forest? The Restricted Section of the library.
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28. Most terrifying of all? Finding a date to the Yule Ball. Magical hormones are OUT OF CONTROL.
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29. Then there is the Room of Requirement, which is pretty cool. But good luck finding it!
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30. You also have Patronus Anxiety. What if your Patronus is something lame when you finally produce it, like a pigeon or a common housefly???
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31. And last but certainly not least, you always have to worry about one (or both) of the Weasley twins pranking you.
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But any wizard or witch knows spending seven years at the most magical place in the world is TOTALLY worth it.
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