A Definitive Ranking Of High School Cliques

High school: Where it isn’t always cool to be cool.

21. Freshmen

Katy Perry Vevo / Via cosmolicious.tumblr.com

FRESH. MEAT.

Pros: Awesome for pranking.
Cons: Literally have no clue what the hell is going on.
Final Grade: F

20. Peripheral Popular Kids

CBS / Via rickey.org

Popular Kids need other high schoolers who *actually* think they should be popular. That’s where the Peripheral Popular Kids come in.

Pros: They’re sort of like the tissues you use to pad your bra: Someone’s got to fill the space.
Cons: Their shit stinks. They just don’t know it yet.
Final Grade: D

19. Stoners

Jason Oxenham / Getty Images

In a perpetual haze and seemingly always craving Taco Bell, the Stoners are like the high school version of zombies.

Pros: They’re like, so chill, ya know brah?
Cons: School just harshes their mellow.
Final Grade: C-

18. Overachievers

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

The Overachievers get off on doing lots of stuff. They seem to have missed the memo that people aren’t supposed to accomplish anything until they’re like 30.

Pros: Best type of person to end up with in a group project.
Cons: Being around them is like handling a chihuahua. Except they get straight As.
Final Grade: C

17. Goths

CBS / Via mtv.com

Eternal darkness.

Pros: Easy to identify in their black clothing.
Cons: Time to lose the attitude, guys.
Final Grade: C

16. VIP Crew

The VIP Crew is 17 going on 30. Fake ID always in hand, they’re already so over high school. At this point, they’re just here for their diploma.

Pros: They always know where the hot parties are.
Cons: There is no way you can keep up with their liver or their budget.
Final Grade: C+

15. Goody Two-Shoes

NBC Universal / Via complex.com

Eternally energetic and upbeat, there is no problem too big for the Goody-Two Shoes to tackle. Like a hamster in its wheel, they never stop moving, even if they never actually get anywhere.

Pros: Someone’s got to save the planet, right?
Cons: It’s OK to have a cup of coffee that isn’t fair trade every now and then.
Final Grade: C+

14. Premature Rock Stars

Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images

The Rock Kids are already fighting “The Man” at the tender age of 15.

Pros: Probably the first bad boy/girl you’ll ever have a crush on.
Cons: They think they’re the next Pink Floyd when really they’re Nickelback, at best.
Final Grade: B-

13. Popular Kids

E! Television / Via heresgifsforyou.tumblr.com

Some kids want good grades. Others want to excel on the field. Popular Kids, on the other hand, thrive on drama — and not the theater type.

Pros: Um, they throw parties?
Cons: Popularity is a monarchy, not a democracy. You’re born high school popular or you aren’t.
Final Grade: B-

12. Theater Nerds

Lots of high schoolers pretend to be someone they’re not to fit in. Theater nerds do the same, except on a stage in front of an audience, so they end up standing out.

Pros: They sing! They dance! They sing AND dance at the same time!
Cons: They won’t stop singing or dancing.
Final Grade: B-

11. Jocks

RAH RAH SPORTS!!!

Pros: They date the hottest girls and guys and always got the best parking spot and choicest table in the cafeteria.
Cons: There’s nothing wrong with being good at sports, but at a certain point it’s like, your best feature is throwing a ball, you know?
Final Grade: B

10. Cool Underclassmen

Larry Busacca / Getty Images

Barely out of their diapers and partying harder than most upperclassmen.

Pros: Yeah, they may just have hit puberty but they’re all like “YOLO” and stuff.
Cons: Voice cracks.
Final Grade: B

9. Pretty People

CBS / Via mashable.com

For this very, very small minority of high schoolers, puberty was not the hellish experience that it was for most of us common folk.

Pros: They’re hot.
Cons: They know they’re hot.
Final Grade: B+

8. Band Geeks

Taylor Swift Vevo / Via youtube.com

For a select few, tooting into an expensive metal tube is considered fun. These are the band geeks.

Pros: They like to blow each others horns ;)
Cons: Ugh, those uniforms.
Final Grade: B+

7. Smarty Pants

Columbia Pictures / Via pandawhale.com

NERD ALERT. These guys are Ivy League-bound and smart as hell.

Pros: If you play your cards right, you can get one of these guys to help tutor you in science.
Cons: They ALWAYS ruin the curve.
Final Grade: B+

6. Alternative Jocks

Craig Sillitoe / Getty Images Sport

They’re hot, but they play a sport no one gives a rat’s ass about.

Pros: They have a sense of humility because they’re good at a sport that has no social clout.
Cons: Because they didn’t excel at the “cool” sports, alternative jocks sometimes have a chip on their shoulders.
Final Grade: A-

5. Indie Kids

Lana Del Rey Vevo / Via youtube.com

The high school version of hipsters. They were drinking espresso in middle school and are Pitchfork writers-in-training.

Pros: Slightly pretentious but befriend them and you will feel cool beyond your teenage years.
Cons: They’re always so *OVER IT*.
Final Grade: A-

4. Pretty People “B” Squad

ABC / Via gifrific.com

Sort of like the Canada to the Pretty People’s U.S.A., the PP “B” Squad is pretty much the same thing but with a better attitude.

Pros: Good looking, but not as good-looking as the pretty people. They know they’re cooler than you but also realize it’s based on a superficial thing like the fact they are genetically #blessed.
Cons: They’re still way hotter than you.
Final Grade: A

3. Floaters

Walt Disney Pictures / Via wifflegif.com

Social butterflies on steroids.

Pros: They’re adaptable, like a chameleon. One day they might hang with the theater nerds and the next day the jocks.
Cons: What if they’re secretly a spy for one of the other cliques?
Final Grade: A

2. Artsy Fartsy Kids

If Van Gogh went to high school, he’d be right at home with the Artsy Fartsy Kids. Except in this clique, everyone (hopefully) still has both of their ears.

Pros: Everyone can doodle. These peeps can just doodle way, way better than you.
Cons: They’re always covered in paint.
Final Grade: A

1. Closet Nerds

A24

Warner Bros. Pictures

 

Don’t let their looks deceive you. Like a Gusher, the closet nerd has a surprise inside: In this case, they’re super smart.

Pros: Looks aren’t everything. Looks and brains? That’s another story.
Cons: A little too perfect.
Final Grade: A+

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