1. First, it's a given that your facial expression during Christmastime will be chillier than a reindeer's ass.
2. You'll be asked to smile for family pictures, even though that's against your protocol.
3. So Christmas photos will look a lot like this.
4. But you knew this was bound to happen, because back in the day, your photos with Santa looked something like this.
5. Yes, you'll probably be called a "Grinch" more than a few times. Or even "Scrooge."
6. And what is the best way to answer dumb, way-too-personal questions from your relatives? Yup, RBF.
7. "Hey, are you still single?" Answer: resting bitch face.
8. "When are you going to have kids?" Answer: resting bitch face.
9. "Are you really going for another cookie?" YES, AND MERRY RESTING BITCH FACE TO YOU TOO.
10. People will ask you why you look so upset, it's Christmas, and "you should be smiling." UGH.
11. And everyone will think you're having, like, the worst Christmas ever, even though it's the merriest time of the year.
12. People will be upset when you open presents and you don't display over-the-top joy. But you ALWAYS look like this.
13. Then, you have to fake enthusiasm when you open your next present because you don't want anyone to get upset.
14. The only way you can possibly survive the throng of shoppers is to just give a cold, hard death glare. No smiling at the mall, EVER.
15. Same goes for when you're at the airport.
16. And ESPECIALLY in the parking lot immediately after Midnight Mass.
17. When you get together for a holiday party, everyone in your family will think you're mad at them, even though you're just ya know, BEING YOUR NORMAL SELF.
18. And relatives you haven't seen in forever will think you're part of the Bad Attitude Club and talk about you behind your back. Not like you care, though.
19. It's bound to happen: SOMEONE will make a joke about you being on the Naughty List, just because of the face you're making.
20. Or deliver a "You'll be getting coal" comment.
21. And really, how else are you supposed to act when you hear "Jingle Bells" for the hundredth time in the past month?
22. Of course this is your face when people start playing Christmas music BEFORE Thanksgiving.
23. But let's face it, you have resting bitch face the entire year. BAH FUCKING HUMBUG.
