1. Don’t waste any time - the first encounter of the day is your first chance to land a blow.
7. If words fail you, facial expressions can be a handy alternative.
11. There is no easier - or more effective - target than your victim’s Mum.
16. And romantic fantasies.
17. Basically: if your mate ever starts to feel good about himself, shut it down immediately.
18. Sometimes, plain speaking is what’s required to get your insult across.
19. Although feel free to get creative - a made up insult is still an insult.
21. But if all else fails, feel free to fall back on the simple, time-honoured classics.
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