Jerry Seinfeld’s Inner Monologue Reviews His Instagrams

WHY AM I YELLING?

1. DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM GOING TO EAT THIS?

2. WHO DECIDED TO LIGHT ALL OF THESE CANDLES

3. DID IT FLASH? I DON’T THINK THE CAMERA FLASHED?

4. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA AND WHY DID I AGREE TO BUY IT

5. (I HATE FESTIVUS)

6. THIS TREE CAME WITH THE HOUSE

7. I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

8. THIS IS A BOOK

9. I FORGOT HOW TO SMILE

10. OK IT’S BACK I REMEMBER HOW TO SMILE AGAIN

11. OK NOW I AM LIKE AN A+ SMILER PLEASE DELETE THAT OTHER PHOTO

12. U DON’T WANT NONE OF DIS

13. YES I EAT OATMEAL MY DOCTOR SAYS IT IS GOOD FOR MY HEART

14. WHAT TIME IS IT? WHY AM I AWAKE?

15. THEY REPLACED SEINFELD RERUNS WITH THAT NERD SHOW? BOOOOOOOOOOO

16. TSUP?!

17. WE HAVE PERFECT TEETH

18. (THIS IS LIKE THAT EPISODE WHERE I DATE SOMEONE THAT LOOKS LIKE ME?!)

19. YES THESE ARE MY FRIENDS

20. I HAVEN’T MADE MY OWN COFFEE IN 19 YEARS SOMEONE PLS HELP ME

21. I HAVEN’T CHEWED MY OWN FOOD IN 19 YEARS SOMEONE PLS HELP ME

22. IT IS VERY BRIGHT OUT HERE

23. IS HE GOING TO HIT ME? JUST GIVE ME A SIGN

24. I CAN’T HOLD THIS POSE MUCH LONGER PLEASE TAKE THE PHOTO

25. ACTUALLY WHO IS EVEN TAKING THESE PHOTOS?! WHO ARE YOU?! TELL ME YOUR NAME

26. THIS IS LIKE THAT SCENE FROM KARATE KID BEFORE DANIEL BREAKS THE GLASS EXCEPT I AM ABOUT TO EAT 6 PUFF PASTRIES INSTEAD OF BREAKING GLASS

27. WELCOME TO THE ILLUMINATI JIMMY. WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY HAND IS OUR OFFICIAL SIGN FOR HELLO. DON’T TELL ANYONE.

28. I THINK I FOUND THE CAMERAMAN? IS THAT YOU IN THE MIRROR?

29. WHERE ARE MY SUNGLASSES?

30. THAT’S ALL FOLKS!!!!

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