1. Leave the bathroom cleaner than when you arrived
This is an old Boy Scout rule that also applies in the bathroom. Unless you are willing to risk being “that guy” who left the toilet full of #2 by trying to escape the stall before anyone notices, you will need to make sure every last piece of evidence that you were in there has been flushed down the toilet.
And if you end up being an unlucky person who enters a stall that already had some other daredevils mess - sorry but you are stuck with that clean up also (see above about the risks of leaving it.)
2. While we are on the topic of the bathroom, you must always wash your hands when using the restroom
Stop being selfish and wash your hands please. Even more so when there is someone else in there. How can you walk out knowing they are taking a mental snapshot of you leaving without washing and will be reminded of it every time they see you forever?
Washing your hands when leaving the restroom actually applies at all places at all times, not just at work.
3. Unless you are handicapped, under no circumstances are you ever allowed to take an elevator to the second floor
There is a reason America is so fat. This is that reason.
4. Don’t eat lunch at your desk
An occasional snack is ok, and drinks are 100% cool. But everyone needs a break from their desk and lunch is that time. Trust me, you will work better when you come back because you have had time to relax.
While we are on this topic, try not to eat like a velociraptor. It isn’t a race. Relax. Eat slow and chew properly.
This obviously doesn’t apply if you dont have a dining area in your office.
5. Don’t take a private call at your desk
Sure, your teenage daughter wants to sleep over at her best friends house, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the office needs to know you don’t want her to. Take the call somewhere else.
6. Don’t microwave fish. EVER
It doesn’t matter how delicious it is. This is a big no-no. You are going to have to eat it cold whether you like it or not.
7. Don’t leave your food in the fridge
How irresponsible could you be? You know you put it in there, if you don’t plan on eating it, trash it!
8. Don’t use the office network as a place to torent Dances With Wolves
Streaming music is ok, and secretly watching shows on Mad Men is becoming increasingly acceptable, but using the networks fiber connection as a personal server is a big no-no.
9. Clean up after yourselves!
All it takes is putting your garbage away and a quick wipe, it isn’t that hard is it? Aren’t we supposed to be professionals?
10. Don’t take food that doesn’t belong to you
Afterall, we are trying to run a society here! This is basic “do not steal” economics.
I don’t even understand how this can still be an issue in modern society. How can you feel good about eating someone else’s food? They were probably sitting at their boring desk job all morning, just thinking about that sandwich, only to arrive and see that its been taking. That is enough to make a man go insane.
11. Facebook isn’t a good place to complain about co-workers
This just makes you look bad. You don’t want to look bad, do you?
Go out there everyone and make me proud.