18 Things The Cat Of A Twentysomething Is Thinking

Because if there’s one thing your cat is doing constantly, it’s judging your life choices.

1. “Heard you opening a wine bottle, yet I don’t see any friends around. Interesting.”

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2. “I’m giving you the silent treatment because you’ve been playing QuizUp for a solid half-hour. That’s half an hour too long.”

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3. “Well, if you’re sleeping at 9 p.m. on a Friday night, then I guess I will too since there’s nothing else to do.”

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4. “Checking Instagram one more time instead of cleaning the house? Yeah, OK.”

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5. “Are you wearing perfume, or did you happen to shower today?”

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6. “Noticed you haven’t made your bed in a while. What would your mother say about you?”

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7. “Maybe I can clean this disgusting coffee table for you from the other side.”

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8. “It’s not like you were using this yoga mat for any real exercise.”

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9. “I can’t believe you texted them, like, four times in a row.”

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10. “You know you won’t be ‘Forever 21’ forever, right?”

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11. “This is pretty much your fifth straight hour of Hulu this weekend. Take a break!”

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12. “I’ll give you more space to lie down if you buy vegetables for yourself at the grocery store soon.”

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13. “It’s 3 a.m.! You won’t miss anything important on Tumblr if you go to sleep, I promise!”

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14. “You’ve been on the phone with your mom for an hour, my goodness, give her a break.”

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15. “Took this empty-hamper opportunity to show you that all of your clothes must be on the floor. Do your laundry.”

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16. “Can’t believe the filth you’re watching on MTV.”

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17. “Saw you ordered from Seamless…again.”

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18. “Sooooo, did I just find your super-secret catnip stash, or…?”

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Author’s note: Yes, this is my cat.

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