1. You can feel loud music in your bones and soul, and it hurts you deeply.
2. There is a certain time you need to be home, so that you can watch your stories on TV and get a good night’s sleep.
3. Weekends are for errands and chores, not drinking and partying!
4. You’ve begun to unnecessarily tell people only slightly younger than you about “back in my day.”
5. You’re not totally sure what’s popular on TV anymore, but you definitely know the Bravo schedule.
Do kids like The Voice or American Idol more, and which one does Ryan Secrets (is that his name what is his name the one with the hair) host?
6. You only wear comfortable pants and shoes because WHY IN THE WORLD would you wear anything else?
7. Enjoying a soothing cup of hot tea before bed is now a part of your ritual.
8. Complaining about how early holidays start showing up in stores should be ON YOUR FREAKING RÉSUMÉ.
THE CHRISTMAS CREEP IS REAL AND YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE/VALIDATED MAKING YOUR OPINION KNOWN.
9. Even though you’re legally fairly young, you still feel entitled to a seat on the subway because, let’s face it, you deserve it.
11. Out of all the characters on your favorite TV shows, you probably relate to the grumps more often than not.
12. From babies to the youths, literally everyone annoys you. Every. Single. Person.
13. You’ve completely abandoned the common courtesy of “smiling at passersby on the sidewalk.”
14. At this point, you could practically be an appraiser on Antiques Roadshow.
GOING ANTIQUING IS LIKE ADVENTURING INTO THE PAST.
15. The sweetness of your coffee is directly related to your current outlook on life.