1.
"Yeah, so then Jessica said my shorts made me look 'dumpy' which is so typical, right?"
2.
"I watched maybe six straight hours of 'Gilmore Girls' the other weekend. It was horrifyingly great."
3.
"Who even cares what people think about brunch? The world would be a much more awesome place if we just ate whenever we felt like."
4.
"I had to look up what 'trill' meant the other day and felt sooooo out of touch."
6.
"I think I could open a cupcake shop one day. I've thought a lot about it."
7.
"Do you think about what Sanjaya is up to as much as I do?"
8.
"Robert already got the new iPhone 6 and won't shut up about it. It's like... we get it, dude. You have big hands."
9.
"Sometimes I wonder if squirrels know they're fat."
10.
"I have no idea why people like apple cider. It's just hot apple juice! It's WORSE apple juice."
11.
"People who do their own baking always have to tell you about it."
12.
"I think the jury's still out on Taylor Swift, y'know what I mean?"
13.
"Sometimes I really miss Velcro shoes, but then I'm like... maybe I just miss the ease of childhood."
14.
"Salads aren't as sad as people say they are. They're just doing salads wrong."
15.
"How did butternut squash even get that name, though?"
16.
"Breakfast food is the only food, as far as I'm concerned."
