1. When you suddenly have to become the Thought Police and prevent your drunk friends from saying anything too stupid.
2. You’re usually the designated driver, not that you mind.
4. It can feel weird to back out of some social engagements but otherwise you wouldn’t be able to get a ride home until people are sober at like 4 a.m.
7. When people don’t understand how you can have friends and not drink. They’re not mutually exclusive activities, silly.
8. You’re not jealous of your friends who wake up in weird places the night after a party…
9. …but you don’t judge them either. You love ‘em for who they are.
10. Sometimes you put juice in a wine glass just to feel a little fancy.
11. People assume you think everyone drinks to excess, but you understand that most people do drink responsibly.
12. You’ve tried to tell your friends not to attempt that jump, but they just never listen.
13. You put your drink in a red cup like everyone else, and then people assume you fell off the wagon. You’re just trying to enjoy some water in peace!
14. To people who try to convince you to have “just one drink” or say they want to be there for your first drink, you gotta lay down the law.
16. Driving at night through your city (or college’s town) and feeling like you’re in a high-stakes video game called “DON’T HIT THE WADDLING PEDESTRIANS.”
In The News Today
- Prosecutors will seek the death penalty for Dylann Roof, accused of killing nine people in a Charleston church in June. ›
- Kentucky clerk Kim Davis has been taken into federal custody until she orders her staff to issue marriage licenses. ›
- Donald Trump has pledged to support the eventual Republican presidential nominee in 2016 and not mount a 3rd-party run. ›