An Open Letter To Pumpkin Spice Lattes From Salted Caramel Mochas

The battle between autumnal flavors heats up. posted on

1. Dear Pumpkin Spice Lattes,

2. I understand that people are really excited to see you all of a sudden.

3. I know you’ve been around for a whole decade now, and that’s cool, I guess.

4. EVERYONE loves you, I get it.

5. You go really well with other pumpkin-flavored snacks, which is sort of the point.

6. But maybe, I dunno, maybe you could throw a little love my way sometimes?

7. See? People still love me, the often forgotten Salted Caramel Mocha.

8. I’m the “ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID, NEVER A BRIDE” of the fall flavors.

9. I have the same whipped cream mountains that you do! But mine are topped with sea salt!!

10. Your pumpkin syrup doesn’t come from nature, you fool, it comes from the same pumps as my flavors! PLASTIC PUMPS, I SAY!

11. YOU ARE A HACK AND I AM A DELIGHTFUL TREAT.

12. WHO CARES IF PEOPLE WANT TO DELICATELY HOLD YOU MORE THAN ME?

13. I didn’t mean to yell and mess all my froth up, but you have to understand where I’m coming from.

14. Let’s just try to get along and survive the season together.

15. You do you, and I’ll do me. Just… try not to hog the spotlight too much.

16. XOXO, SCM

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