1. Gameday in the Swamp is where you’re allowed to be as sweaty (and as drunk) as you wanna be.
2. You regularly walk by both the “Potato” and the “French Fries.”
3. You’ve “liked” UF Squirrels on Facebook because, let’s face it, they have a very big presence on campus so it makes sense.
6. Tim Tebow’s your cool older brother who never writes home.
8. Fellow Gator Ryan Lochte’s stupid grill(s) never happened either.
11. You own, like, five bumper stickers from Satchel’s Pizza.
12. When you’re in a hurry, though, you can always count on a slice from Leo’s.
14. Turlington Plaza held a Harlem Shake mob, and look, you’re right there in the crowd!
15. You’ve never once gone into the Reitz Union Barbershop, but, dang, you’ve always wanted to.
16. Sure, a lot of freshmen go to GatorNights, but they’re not so bad!
17. If all the bricks fall off of Century Tower, then you’ve done a good job, virgins.
18. On Wednesdays you wear pink and get yourself some Krishna Lunch spaghetti. Yeah, it comes with chips.
20. EVERY PREVIEW STAFFER LIED TO YOU.
22. You’re not supposed to know the “inner” Albert and Alberta, but you have a hunch.
23. You’ve definitely spotted a million Gator athletes in line for Chick-fil-A.
24. Who knows why you waited in that line for a Beat shirt, but you’re glad you did.
25. Oh, is it the end of the third quarter already?
Come on Gators, get up and go!
Feel free to put what you think is missing from the list in the comments!
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UnrustledJimmies 3 months agoMultiple people have told me about this mythical girl name “Sami” who really doesn’t do anything but write sub-par articles for the Alligator, and shit about cats for BuzzFeed. When I inadvertently stumbled upon this list earlier today I thought “Man, this article is very Sami.” Sure enough, I scrolled up after finally making my way through a list that was probably more painful to navigate than the jungles of Vietnam (post Agent Orange), only to find that this was indeed written by Sami. All I really know is that based on the 20 years I’ve been visiting/enrolled in this institution, I would rather be sprayed down with Agent Orange in my sleep than have to read this list a second time.
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jonfs 3 months agoI like how you know where else this author writes, even though it’s terribly creepy. I like how you called her mythical and put her name in quotes likes it’s some sort of pseudonym, even though you clearly established she’s a real person. Makes me wonder if you even know what quotes are used for. But your biggest accomplishment here has to be how you compare this list — meant to entertain fellow Gators and possibly make some feel nostalgic — to one of the bloodiest wars in our history. A war where men fought and died so you could eat cheeseburgers and comment anonymously on websites. Freedom ain’t free I guess.
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donkeynubb 3 months ago
Fought and died and, errm, lost for that guys freedom? How exactly does that work? Silly man. 4000 words on how the Vietnam war gave anyone freedom on my desk by tomorrow.
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