1. 1. The Grumpy Businessman
You’ll be able to spot them because they’ll be sat in the exact same seat every morning and every evening, with the exact same suicidally-grim scowl on their face.
2. 2. The Tourist
Hobbies include: talking loudly; asking for directions and looking confused; congregating around maps in large groups and getting in everybody else’s way.
3. 3. The Super Important High-flyer
Sort of like the Grumpy Businessman, only younger, less bitter, and more likely to barge into old ladies.
4. 4. The Fancy Dressers
They’re going on a night out and they want to share the hilarity of their costumes with you.
5. 5. The Young Professional
If people were a bit more like Pokemon, the Young Professional would be the first evolutionary stage of the Grumpy Businessman. Just look at this one’s face; you can already see the bitterness building up behind her cold, empty eyes.
6. 6. The Gentleman
Even if they’re sat half a carriage away from the person standing, the Gentleman will ALWAYS be the first person to offer their seat (usually in a booming voice and with much gesturing). They’re nice like that.
7. 7. The Group Of [Insert Any Sport That Requires Loud Chanting] Fans
They’re happy their team won and they want everyone on the Circle Line to know about it.
8. 8. The Cryer
According to research that’s yet to be carried out, everyone who lives in London is statistically guaranteed to cry at least once on the tube. Your turn will come, too (and when it does you can expect the other passengers to sit and stare at you awkwardly).
9. 9. The Person With All The Suitcases In Rush Hour
Possibly the most hated person on the underground. Not only have they been somewhere nice, but now they’re rubbing it in everyone’s faces by blocking up the platform. Outrageous.