1. Leaving your birthday party decorations up nine months after your birthday.
Removing the “Birthday” doesn’t hide anything. Everybody knows these are happy birthday party puppy decorations, not valid wall decor. Cats will especially be judging you for this.
2. Or leaving your holiday decorations up past January.
You tell them, Corey.
3. Letting your dirty dishes pile up in the kitchen.
Mold casserole, anyone?
4. Not changing your bed sheets regularly.
The recommended rule is every week, people. EVERY WEEK.
5. Drinking out of the carton or bottle.
You own enough wine glasses to serve 16 people. Why are you doing this?
7. Wearing your Snuggie every night.
And rarely washing it. (The camo hides stains best.)
8. Owning a collection of Snuggies.
Do you really need more than one?
10. Becoming a hermit because all you really want to do is stay home alone in your cave and binge watch Netflix.
Specifically Game of Thrones or Doctor Who. If it’s not one of those shows you should probably just suck it up and go out. Maybe to the gym.
11. Eating whole cartons of ice cream while binge watching Netflix.
Without any roommates to steal - err help eat - your ice cream, you’re going to get fat.
12. Buying too much food at the grocery store and not eating it before it expires.
Extreme Couponing is really not the hobby for you.
13. Not cleaning your bathroom regularly.
Your guests, if you let them use your bathroom, will not pleased.
14. Solo dance parties when your neighbors can see in your window.
If you do this, at least be sure to wear clothes.
15. Being naked all the time.
What if there’s a fire and you have to run outside? There won’t be any censor bars then!
16. Not fixing things that need fixing in a timely manner.
Things could fall apart at any moment! You should at least own a basic toolkit and know how to use it.
17. Eating too fast, because you’re more likely to choke, and nobody will be around to save you.
The cat sure won’t.
18. Being too lazy to cook for yourself.
Whatever you do, avoid picking up a Hot n’ Ready pizza on your way home from work. You’ll eat it all and there will be regrets. Just learn a few quick meals to prepare on a moments notice!
19. Using your dining table for ALL THE THINGS except dining.
It’s a desk. It’s a place to fold laundry. It houses your old magazine collection. It’s an arts and crafts studio. It’s basically your home within your home, but there’s no where to set down your dinner plate, so just eat in the kitchen over the sink.
20. Not watering your plants.
Oops. Now they’re dead. Maybe you should water them more frequently and try talking to them everyday. Also, let in some daylight.
21. Staying up super late and then falling asleep on the couch.
Why do you even own a mattress? The couch is your bed.
22. Using exercise equipment for anything but exercise.
Is that a treadmill back there?
23. Not introducing yourself to your neighbors.
At least try to get to know some of your neighbors. If disaster strikes when you’re at home, they might be the only ones around to help you.
24. Not vacuuming regularly.
You should vacuum your carpet (and corgi) at least TWICE PER WEEK.
No. No. No. Take out the trash at least once a week, please, I beg of you.