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Bark.
Woof.
Woof bark.
Dog goes woof.
I go woof.
I just said the word woof.
I. Just. Said. The. Word. Woof.
Oh my GOD I JUST SAID THE WORD WOOF!
I can talk! I can fucking talk!
Holy shit.
I can speak.
This is unbelievable.
I wonder if I can talk now cause I ate a magical cat turd?
That can’t be why.
And also, it doesn’t matter why, because I can talk!
I’m going to finally have what I want, when I want it.
No more painfully waiting to go outside to defecate. No more begging for table scraps or whimpering for help. No longer will I be unable to communicate with my loving and caring owners.
I can finally connect with the people I love on a level beyond owner and pet. We could be friends. We could be bark.
Excuse me. We could be woof.
No. No no no. What is happening? What is bark woof?
I’m losing my ability to speak.
Why dog god? Why cruel dog god did you give this power to me only to woof it away bark?
I would rather die than go back to being only able to bark.
I’ve got to try and open this gun cabinet bark.
What is the combination?
Maybe all ones woof bark?
WHY WOULD IT BE ALL ONES YOU IDIOT! WHAT IS THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING A COMBINATION LOCK BARK IF THE COMBINATION IS WOOF BARK ONES?
Plus, I can’t even work it.
Damn. I may speak perfect English, but I still have these DAMN PAWS!
There’s no use. I’ll never get in bark woof.
This is the end. I tasted but for only a short time the nectar of free speech.
Did I sin to be given this gift to then have it taken away? I repent dog god, I repent!
"I don't know whether he is a sinner," the man replied. "But I know this: I was blind, and now I can see!" John. Nine, twenty-woof bark.
God fucking damnit.
I’ll never forgive you for this dog god.
I’ll never forgive you bark woof bark woof.
Bark.
Bark woof.
Woof.
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