13. I wonder if I can talk now cause I ate a magical cat turd?
17. No more painfully waiting to go outside to defecate. No more begging for table scraps or whimpering for help. No longer will I be unable to communicate with my loving and caring owners.
18. I can finally connect with the people I love on a level beyond owner and pet. We could be friends. We could be bark.
22. Why dog god? Why cruel dog god did you give this power to me only to woof it away bark?
23. I would rather die than go back to being only able to bark.
27. WHY WOULD IT BE ALL ONES YOU IDIOT! WHAT IS THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING A COMBINATION LOCK BARK IF THE COMBINATION IS WOOF BARK ONES?
29. Damn. I may speak perfect English, but I still have these DAMN PAWS!
31. This is the end. I tasted but for only a short time the nectar of free speech.
32. Did I sin to be given this gift to then have it taken away? I repent dog god, I repent!
33. “I don’t know whether he is a sinner,” the man replied. “But I know this: I was blind, and now I can see!” John. Nine, twenty-woof bark.
In The News Today
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›