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11 Things Nobody Tells You About Being In Prison

Because of popular shows like Oz and Orange is the New Black, everyone thinks they know what it would be like to be locked up in the slammer. But here are some facts that just might surprise you.

1. They Never Let You Out

No matter how much you ask, they won’t ever let you leave, even if it’s for something really important.

2. The Beds Are Super Uncomfortable

No Sealy or Sleep Number beds here your highness. And if you love body pillows, you’ll absolutely hate prison.

3. You Can’t Bring Your XBox

They won’t even let you bring your favorite controller since it could easily be used as a deadly weapon or a rape doohickey.

4. The Shower Temperature is Never Right

The worst thing that can happen in a prison shower is that you’re the guy who keeps jumping in and out of the water because it keeps going from hot to cold.

5. Open Mic Sign Ups Fill Up Too Fast

In prison, no one can hear you scream or do your really great Lenny Kravitz impression.

6. Basketball Nets Are Still Ten Feet High

If couldn’t slam dunk outside the slammer, you can’t slam dunk inside the slammer.

7. There Is So Much Gossip

The drama doesn’t end behind bars. There is so much he said this and he said that and he did this to a little kid and he did that at a cop’s funeral that it never ends!

8. The Food Is Just Okay

The real frustration is knowing that with a little extra work, it could actually be great.

9. The Prison Guards Are Nice, But Only When They Want Something

Prison guards are the elephants of correctional institutions, they never forget. And trust me, they will also never let you hear the end of it.

10. It Is Hard To Make Friends

With so many inmates, and people always coming and going, in prison it is almost impossible to form any long lasting relationships. Behind bars, friendships are a fleeting thing.

11. It Isn’t Any Different Than Being Free

On the outside, we construct for ourselves our own prisons, where societal obligations and restrictions form the walls and bars. We shackle ourselves to careers we care nothing about and people we care nothing for. The quest for more and more dictates each of our lives as we race for a destination we can never actually reach. On the outside, nothing is good enough, love isn’t real and no man is ever truly free.

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