15 Things Sober People Are Tired Of Hearing At Parties

It's Friday night, and some girl your friend's friend knows named Jan invited you to her house party! Score, anything goes: I'm talkin' public puking, fighting with your best friends, dancing by yourself to Uptown Funk, belting your heart out to Tiny Dancer, and my personal favourite, the drunken rap battles. All this is done in good fun... but being... sober... now that's just weird! For #14DaysDry, challenge yourself to go dry, to think about alcohol and substance addiction, and you might just learn a thing or two. Written by Ellen Smith, Storyteller for RU Student Life.

1. "You're not drunk yet!?!? You gotta get on my level!!!"

It seems like you're having a good time on your level, but I'm good down here.

2. "Wait... you're not drinking... by choice...?"

3. "Are you not drinking because you're sick? Religious reasons? Pregnant? Depressed?"

First of all, in my case, no, but second of all those are some really invasive questions. Way to make every one uncomfortable, STEVE. (There's always a "Steve from out of town" at house parties).

4. "Is it because you're hungover?"

No, but judging by how quickly you're tossing back that crantini I'm guessing you will be in about 9 hours.

5. "Will you drink some if we split it?"

Even though your vodka and aloe water cocktail sounds fab, I'll pass. If you know who brought this peach juice though, let me know...

6. "Come on, just a little bit!"

For the third time Rachel, NO.

7. "Why are you here if you're not drinking?"

Thanks, it's nice to see you too!

8. "I feel like you're judging me for being drunk."

No, of course I'm not judging you! I am judging that breath though.

9. "I'm sooo sorry for being so annoying tonight, I'm never like this I swear, I'm so sorry!"

I wasn't annoyed until you started apologizing profusely every time we made eye contact.

10. "I really don't know how you're doing this!"

I know, it's really quite difficult but the nobel peace prize I will win for my efforts will make every thing worth it.

11. "Good for you! Seriously, that's so impressive, I could never do it."

Have you ever seen someone do a back flip? That's impressive. Me standing here holding a red cup full of peach juice... not so much.

12. "Can I get you something... what do you people drink? I think I have half a pepsi left, do you want that?"

13. "We're all going to Dance Cave later but you probably won't want to come."

Yes, yes I absolutely do want to come. Your coordination has been compromised and I will out dance you all.

14. "Can you drive me home?"

Insider tip: "Can you drive me home?" is typically code for "Can I throw up on your dash board?"

15. "You! Seriously YOU are the BEST. I love you so so so much, stay the way you are."

Thanks, it was nice to meet you too.