1. You can get dressed up and go out for cocktails with your girlfriends.
Without anyone getting suspicious and asking questions like, “Why are you so dolled up? Are you going to go flirt with other men?”
2. You master changing double/king size bedding.
Mo’ helpers mo’ problems.
3. … and get the whole bed to yourself.
Without man sweat and toenails
4. No one hogs the TV with sports.
Did you see that thing that Arsenal did that time? Did you? Did you give a shit?
5. Or moans when you want to watch back-to-back design shows for hours.
6. You can spend a whole weekend without brushing your hair or shaving your legs.
Because you fucking can.
7. You can spend your food money on dresses without anyone moaning.
Irresponsible? Yes. Are you gonna live on beans on toast for the rest of the month? Yes. Are you gonna look fabulous in your new dresses? Fuck yes.
8. Chocolate for breakfast? Why the fuck not.
9. Broccoli for dinner because you can’t be bothered to cook? Bring it on.
You spent all your food money on dresses anyway.
10. You can register on Tinder just to laugh at all the idiots.
11. You can reinvent yourself
New hair? Check. New style? Check. New take-no-shit personality? Fucking check!
12. You can run around your place naked without anyone grabbing your butt every five minutes.
Sometimes you just want to get in touch with nature.
13. No one gets jealous if you spend the night in bed with your pet, laptop, and ice cream.
You don’t talk to anyone for five hours (apart from yelling at Netflix) and that’s completely fine.
14. You get your own DIY done.
“For fuck’s sake, I said I would do it…so what if you asked me six months ago, you’re such a nag!”
15. You can do new things whenever you want to.
Check out that seafood restaurant you’ve never been to because he doesn’t like fish. Start lifting weights because he thought it would make you look too masculine. Take up rock climbing because he was scared of heights. You can do WHATEVERTHEFUCK you want!
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