Sunny Days, Just Like I Like My Eggs

Summertime got you down? Shut up, go to Antarctica where you belong.

My body is quite literally glowing from the heat. All I have to do is sit down on my couch and not move, and my forehead starts to trickle with happiness in the form of sweat. You know what? I'm a lady. My happiness shows up as perspiration.

All you Winter Lovers, I wish you would shut up for a hot five seconds! Did you know that in winter, you don't get the option of sleeping naked? Or raised electricity bills for that A/C united you refused to turn off? What about the fact that at this very moment, I have consumed over a gallon of ice cream by myself this week alone?

Please, don't take pity on us. We deserve what we get, us Summer Lovers. We complain all winter long about the cold and the added clothing attire. We mistake rain boots for snow boots time and time again. We buy them at Leila Rowe, and we never understand why $20 wonder boots only last for two weeks.

But listen up Winter Lovers. There will be your time for glory and skiing and racking up debt for Christmas presents! There will be moments when you catch a snowflake on your tongue and will wear seven sweaters at once! You will get your runny nose and your delayed flights!

Let us enjoy our sun. Its heat keeps us alive and gives us meaning, the other Summer Lovers and me. There's nothing better than 9:30 pm sunsets and bonfires on the beach. Grilling is our time for reflection and consuming delicious red meat. Its early Friday work days are what gives us sanity. There's also a 90% chance our summer dress will look more attractive to Sexy-Man-in-Baseball-Cap than your sweater from high school circa 2004.

We want you to have your cold back eventually, but we really, really want you to shut up about it. Go to a warehouse, find a freezer, and stick yourself in it for two minutes. If that doesn't give you a sense of frostbite and nostalgia in August, what will? Find ways to comprimise for the rest of the summer. Drink hot coffee instead of iced, go to the zoo and visit a polar bear, eat tons of comfort food and gain ten pounds.

When November comes, and the weather starts to become bitter and angry, I promise I'll do my best to not complain. I'll find ways to comprimise too. I'll listen to a lot of Weezer and Rastafarian music, I'll go on a vacation. I'll do it I promise! I'll do my best to convince the other Summer Lovers.

But just you wait, Summer will be back soon enough, and it will melt away all that stupid snow you love.