1. Fill Your Face with Reuben Dip
Have you ever thought what it would be like if reuben sandwiches were even easier to eat? Or rather, who hasn’t thought of that? Fortunately for you, it takes about the same amount of time to liquefy that ‘wich.
With 8oz. cream cheese, 1 1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese, 4oz. chopped corned beef, 1/2 cup drained sauerkraut, and 1/2 cup Thousand Island dressing in hand, dream for a bit about what you’ll be eating within 20 minutes. Then, preheat oven to 400 degrees and mix everything but the sauerkraut and 1/2 cup Swiss in a large bowl.
Spread that all over a pie plate, lob the rest of the kraut and cheese over it, and bake for 15 mins. or until the edges are bubbly (like the beer you’ll hopefully be drinking with it). Enjoy.
2. Basically a Chili Recipe
But instead of eating it with a spoon, which is ridiculously outdated, you dip your chips into it.
Pick up 1 1/2lbs. ground beef, 1 can cream of mushroom soup (or make your own, but don’t), 2 pounds cheese spread (yeah, that’s right), 1 cup salsa, 1/2 stick butter, and 2 tablespoons chili powder. Cook the beef over medium heat for about eight minutes, then add the rest and cook over low heat until the cheese is good ‘n’ ready.
3. Fill Your Beer Belly with Beer Cheese
What’s better than beer and cheese. Sorry, that actually wasn’t a rhetorical question— it’s beer and cheese, with chips. That’s what we’re doing here.
For being nectar of the gods, it’s surprisingly easy to create. You’ll need to venture out for 8oz. cream cheese, 2 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (extra sharp if you can handle it), 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard, 2 tablespoons heavy cream, 2 tablespoons chopped parsley, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 cup BEER (anything really, as long as it’s not freaking light).
Toss all that crap into a food processor, blend it for 30 seconds, sprinkling in parsley as you go, and then top it off with beer (as anything should be); process till it’s smooth as you think your pick-up lines are.
4. Pesto + Mayo x Chip = Impressive but Not Douchey
The only thing you need to know about this dip is that it’s easy as hell to make. (And maybe also that it’s damn good.)
Considering the pesto sauce does most of the work, the only other things you need are: 1 cup mayo, 1 cup sour cream, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, and the ability to convince people that you made the pesto sauce all by yourself. ;) Exaggerated Italian accents optional.
The only other step? Mix all that bomb-ass stuff in a bowl and let it chill out in the fridge. Then take some time for yourself to chill out, because you just cooked. And that’s hard.
5. Mouth Fiesta
Six layers because one taco is never enough, and neither is five.
We’re not going to inhibit your creativity here, because there’s different ‘cos for different folks, but this is what we recommend: 1 package taco seasoning, 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese, 1 can refried beans, 16oz. sour cream, 8oz. cream cheese, 16oz. salsa, 1 chopped green pepper, 1 chopped tomato, 1 bunch chopped green onions, shredded iceberg lettuce, and 1 can sliced black olives. Whew. Almost passed out writing all that. But don’t worry, it’s all uphill from here (downhill? — that saying is weird).
ONE: Mix the taco seasoning and refried beans; spread on a large platter. TWO: Mix the sour cream and cream cheese; dump it over that puppy. THREE: Pile on the salsa. FOUR: Add the tomato, bell pepper, green onions, and lettuce. FIVE: CHEDDARRRR. SIX: Last and a little least — black olives.
6. Heaven in a Bowl
Artichoke dip is fine. Okay, it’s a bit better than fine. It’s kinda heavenly. But just because something is perfect doesn’t mean it can’t get better. Think of this as artichoke dip with garlic. Because that’s what it is: at least 100% better.
First, hook yourself up with a jar of mayonnaise (you should already have one unless you’re some kind of crazy), a container of shredded parmesan (or shred it yourself to REALLY take it to the next level), 2 8oz. packages of cream cheese, 1 12oz. jar of marinated artichoke hearts, 7 garlic cloves.
Second, drain and chop the artichoke hearts and mince the garlic cloves; preheat oven to 350 while doing so. Also, put on a sweater because you’re about to wanna get real cozy with this dip.
Then, throw the cream cheese, mayo, and parm into a big bowl and mix ‘em with the artichoke hearts and garlic. Pour that tasty stuff into a 9” pie plate (or something similarly deep/circular-sized). Bake for 30 minutes or until it’s lightly browned on top. EAT IT ALL.
7. Better Than Sex Dip (Maybe)
Have you noticed that there’s a lot of dip recipes where they’re an attempt at turning a glorious thing into a glorious dip? Case in point: cheeseburgers.
Rustle up 2lbs. lean ground beef, 1 1/2 cups chopped onions, 15oz. cheese dip (ain’t nobody got time), 1/2 cup ketchup, 1/4 cup mustard, and 1/4 relish.
Chuck the beef, garlic, and onions into a skillet over medium-high heat and cook till the meat’s brown. Then, drain off fat and thank it for its sacrifice.
Next, take a 4-quart slow cooker and add in the burger mix, cheese dip, ketchup, mustard, and relish; put the burner down low and cook it for 3–4 hours (or on high for 1 1/2–2 hours). Serve IMMEDIATELY, not just because you will have been waiting for so long to eat it, but also because it might be kinda gross if it’s cold.