Best Of The 2012 CPAC Schedule

“Political Correctness and the Wussification of America,” anyone?

The annual Conservative Political Action Conference released its agenda for 2012 today. The event lasts for three days in Washington, D.C. and features the stars of the conservative movement — everyone from the president of the NRA to all the presidential candidates (apart from Ron Paul). Sarah Palin is the keynote speaker this year.

The main speeches and events — “Do ‘We Still Hold These Truths?’: The Future of the Conservative Movement,” “Return of Big Labor: What Can We Learn from Wisconsin & Ohio?”, and others — aren’t too surprising. But delving into the CPAC schedule reveals some gems (not all are official CPAC events, though all are listed on the agenda):

- “It’s the Spending, Stupid! Why Is It So Hard to Cut a Trillion Dollars?”
- “The Failure of Multiculturalism: How the pursuit of diversity is weakening the American Identity”
- “Fire From the Heartland: The Awakening of the Conservative Woman” (starring Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter, and an “all-star cast”)
- “You Had Me at Thank You: A thorough review of the importance of a timely and effective acknowledgement of you [sic] donor’s gift”
- “Political Correctness & The Wussification of America”
- “When’s The Last Time Your Database Had a Colonoscopy?: The importance of performing regular file audits and data hygiene for healthy fundraising”
- “NRA University: Arm Yourself with the Facts” (this event advertises “Free NRA Membership & Gear for attendees!” The type of gear is not specified.)
- “Path to Punditry Workshop: How to turn your opinions into a career”
- “‘Take Back Wall Street’ Youth Rally”
- “Why are U.S. taxpayers spending billions to promote abortion and homosexuality worldwide?”
- “Why Am I Living in My Parent’s Basement? How the Obama Administration’s Policies Are Detrimental to Young People”

And of course:

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