1. Let's start with the basics: It's "football," not "soccer."
2. And these are "boots," not "cleats."
3. A vuvuzela is a beautiful instrument, and you should get one and wield it proudly.
4. A dive is when a player fakes a foul in order to get an upper hand. Learn how to spot them.
5. A good "first touch" means a player pretty much has complete control of the ball.
6. "Upper 90" is the go-to term for where to place a really sick shot on goal.
7. A good rule of thumb during a free kick: loudly predict where you think the player is trying to aim the ball.
8. A "meg" is when you slide the ball through an opponent's legs and collect it on the other side.
9. There is this magic spray that has the power to make any injured player good as new.
10. And always vocalize your opinion that street soccer produces way better players than organized soccer does.
