1. Tiny mites are having sex in your eyelashes.
Many people have miniscule mites mating, sleeping, eating and crawling around on their faces. These mites are largely harmless, however….
2. If you have rosacea, there’s a chance that it might be caused by their poo.
Yep, mite faeces all up in your pores might be behind all that puffy redness. Sorry.
3. But don’t fear the dust mite. After all, you sleep with up to 10 million of them in your bed every night.
4. Also, you have more bacteria than cells in your body.
Yes, you’re a walking petri dish. But it’s okay - you’re mostly full of good bacteria.
5. But enough about you. Let’s talk about beavers. Did you know they used to be as big as bears?
Eight-foot tall giant beavers (Casteroides) roamed freely in North America during the last ice age. They’re thought to have weighed up to 220lb, and were roughly the size of a black bear.
6. This crow can recognise your face.
Crows can recognise the faces of humans who pose a threat to them or their habitat, and those memories can last a lifetime. Plus crows can live up to 15 years - so if you get into a fight with one, it might be time to start thinking about that moustache.
7. These crows might be talking about your haircut.
It’s now thought that crows have their own language - and that this language varies from region to region. They also make tools and play tricks on each other. Also, they still haven’t forgotten about you.
8. This lizard can shoot BLOOD from its EYES.
The horned toad has sinuses filled with blood, which it squirts at predators - in much the same way that cephalopods squirt ink when they’re in danger.
9. Instead of chewing, a spider injects venom into its prey - the venom liquifies the prey’s insides, and the spider sucks the liquid out. Like a milkshake.
A delicious milkshake made of internal organs.
10. A Colombian woman carried a mummified foetus in her uterus for 40 years.
I don’t mean to worry you if you’ve just eaten a pint of ice cream and are now experiencing cramps, but the woman originally went to the doctor with stomach pains.
11. A man once grew a fir tree in his lung.
28 year-old Artyom Sidorkin thought he had a cancerous tumour in his lung but, when they opened him up, surgeons found a two-inch evergreen tree, instead.
12. This island is crawling with deadly snakes, and going there will almost certainly kill you.
Ilha de Queimada Grande, off the coast of São Paulo in Brazil, is home to between one and five deadly golden lancehead vipers per square metre, and any attempts at human occupation have ended stickily. Basically, if you decide to visit, maybe stay on the boat?
13. This Japanese hornet is four inches long. Oh, and its venom dissolves human skin.
It also has the third most painful sting in the world, behind the tarantula hawk and the bullet ant.
14. Oh, didn’t I mention the tarantula hawk! It’s only a SPIDER-WASP that EATS TARANTULAS, which is the most chilling collection of words I have ever typed.
But before it eats the tarantula, the tarantula spider-wasp stuffs the tarantula with its own eggs, then buries it alive. Lovely.
15. Some dolphins don’t take the SCUBA sign for “no” for an answer.
A dolphin named Stinky has been sexually attacking scuba divers off Grand Cayman Island.
16. Unborn sand tiger sharks eat their siblings in utero.
And a shark expert named Stewart Springer was once bitten by a shark embryo while dissecting a female shark.
17. So anyway, stingrays can fly now!
And KILL PEOPLE.
18. And we get fake vanilla flavour from beavers’ bums.
Specifically, from beavers’ anal scent glands. Bon appetit!
Thanks, for the most part to this Reddit thread. And Mother Nature, obviously, who’s not at all twisted.