1. The Neat Freak.
At first you thought it was nice living with someone who keeps such a tight ship, until the day they discovered that you’d accidentally left a fork in with the spoons…
2. The Bad Smell.
Ever since primary school there has always been the stinky kid. Now in their twenties, the smell has matured into something that can’t be described by words alone.
3. The Borderline Alcoholic.
This person needs no excuses to have a drink, but they’ll try to find one at every opportunity. “It’s the finale of The Apprentice, let’s celebrate!”
4. The Borrower.
Money. Shampoo. Clothes. Food. They take it all with the guarantee that they’ll repay the debt as soon as they can afford it. Seeing as their job appears to be professional liar, you probably shouldn’t hold your breath.
5. The Phantom.
The only reason you know they exist is because there’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. You never see them. You never hear them. They stay in their room all day and all night. Hmm. Maybe it’s your 15-year-old self?
6. The Night Owl.
Just as you’re thinking about going to bed they’re thinking about what to have for dinner. The low hum of the living room TV only stops at around 3 a.m, and they’ll be sitting on their laptop for hours after that.
7. The Prankster.
This person uses the word “banter” without even a hint of irony, and maintains that Freshers’ Week was the best time of their life. If you don’t already have one, invest in a lock for your door.
8. The Naturist.
They may think wandering around the flat with everything hanging out is freeing, but that’s not the way your mum saw it when she came to visit. You can still hear the screams.
9. The Lazy Ba$#@rd.
They never wash up. They never clean. They never hoover. They’re ungrateful. They let someone else organize the bills. OK, this one is definitely your 15-year-old self.
10. The Tryer.
The only thing worse that a flatmate who doesn’t do any cleaning is a flatmate who tries to clean, but somehow ends up making the situation worse. If you want a job doing well…
11. The Superstar DJ.
If they’re in their room, the music is on, and it’s not quiet. It’s a wonder they haven’t developed tinnitus, though that might explain why they constantly ignore your screams.
12. The Food Thief.
There can’t be many feelings worse than waiting all day for the leftovers in the fridge only to find that someone has got there first. To make matters worse they didn’t like it and threw half of it in the bin.
13. The Couple.
Only one of them officially lives with you, but their state of perma-spooning could easily cause you to forget this. They offer to cook for your as compensation. Unless ingredients for spag bol cost £500, you’re not getting a fair deal.
14. The Note Maker.
Whilst passive aggressive notes make for great internet fodder, when you are the lucky recipient they’re a little less amusing.
15. The Loud Lover.
Hearing your housemate have sex can have the unfortunate side effect of causing you to be unable to look them in the eye ever again. Avoid such problems by writing them a note. Like this one…