5. When it comes to politics, make sure you think about your vote carefully.
6. If you’re going to write a letter, it’s best to do it on a cake.
7. When encountering your future king, make sure your towel is secure.
8. It’s best to avoid Chinese restaurants with French names serving English classics.
9. Always dress smartly, because you never know who you might meet.
10. If your dog has large nipples, take extra care.
11. And if you make a mistake, don’t say anything and hope that no one notices.
15. Politicised knitting is an absolute no no.
16. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.
17. It’s important that you spend time with like-minded people.
20. Don’t listen to self service checkout machines.
23. Under no circumstances should you pass up the opportunity to use a good pun.
26. Don’t be fooled by clever marketing. Even if it’s about beer.
29. When considering committing a sex act in the street, always look around for the Google Maps camera first.
33. When commuting, leave the farm animals at home.
34. Try not to post letters into a dog poo box if at all possible.
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