Hi. My name’s Robin, and I hate cheese. Here’s why.
1. For a start, cheese is EVERYWHERE. Like in your burgers.
2. And your sandwiches.
3. Some fool even decided to put it in your cake.
4. So then you basically have to spend your life asking for food without cheese.
5. Which is never not awkward.
7. As it turns out, everyone else really likes cheese.
10. Then comes, “OK, so you don’t like cheese, but you like pizza. Right?!”
Umm, well, I would, except… IT’S GOT CHEESE ON IT!!!!!! (And for the record, pizza without cheese isn’t really pizza.)
11. At this point you are usually told to sit at another table. But hey, at least your arteries are clean as a whistle.
12. I mean, it’s easy to see why they’re so angry. Cheese looks so appetizing.
13. And yeah, maybe this does look like a sea horse, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s cheese squeezed from a can.