1. Mixed messages about Britain here.
2. Sponsored by the London Tourist Board.
3. English people: possibly human.
4. Sick burn on the Welsh.
5. That is itself kind of racist, Google.
6. (While we’re at it, do not try to psychoanalyse Irish people.)
7. Poor Prince Charles.
8. No she isn’t.
9. Our prime minister: a condom on a thumb on a seagull on a train.
10. Our deputy prime minister: looks like two people who look nothing alike.
11. Ed Miliband: puppet or animated?
12. It’s not that boring.
13. Yorkshire: definitely the best.
14. No, wait. Lancashire is.
15. London is awful, lonely, amazing, and looking up “carceral” in the dictionary.
16. Manchester: ace, horrible.
17. Belfast: heaven on earth, if you like awful dumps.
18. All the best cities were designed by mad gods.
19. Liverpool’s famous sense of humour coming through here.
20. Ambitious people: avoid Swansea.
21. Cardiff: awesomest dump ever.
22. Newcastle: wee hole.
23. Cambridge: posh, boring and hard.
24. Oxford: overrated, but still better than Cambridge.
25. Norwich: strong approval.
26. Ipswich: less approval.
27. Ibiza may disagree.
29. Come to historic Hastings.
30. Brighton: it’s what you want it to be.
31. “Because you keep asking that question.”
32. Controversial. Very controversial.
33. Could be worse. Ireland gets forty shades of stereotype.
34. Because you won’t shut up about our teeth, obviously.
Robin Edds is a senior writer for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
Tom Phillips is the UK editorial director for BuzzFeed and is based in London.