I just received the most ridiculous letter from a neighbor that I have ever seen...and somehow, it's addressed to me. I moved into my apartment four months ago and had just been saying that I had no issues. All of a sudden, my issues begin. I left my apartment one day and had a hand-written letter, asking me to please keep my TV down and that it was on too loudly the night before. In reality, I was actually not home that night and my TV and computer weren't on and there was no noise coming from my apartment. Last night, i was watching "30 Rock" around midnight, but made sure it was pretty quiet.
This morning, I left my apartment and there was a two page note attached. I've attached the actual letter, but here is the transcription:
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Dear Neighbor,
Happy New Year to you! I hope 2013 is gr8. I did ask about your TV volume from 12 midnight to 5am. Those seem like reasonable hours to ask for some quiet to sleep. Please come up and knock on my door when you get this so we can discuss it. You seem like a really nice, great guy. Maybe you have locked yourself inside your apartment the past week as part of some holiday blues. I'm a gr8 listener if you want to talk about it. The nice weather is back. You might feel better getting out in the sun and doing something. Check out the Burbank Animal Shelter Adoptions. Or volunteer there. There's lots to do to combat loneliness and depression over the holidays. I'm your neighbor and i care about you and all my neighbors. We are human beings living in a close proximity to each other. We can make that into a positive thing. A lot of people in the building look out for each other which is rare in a building. We all have been helping Bobby the older guy with the Brooklyn accent who fell. A lot of us team up to speak to that guy next to you who beats his dog. The dog that barks. I feel bad for you too because you have that other obnoxious blonde singer across from you in the alley who does those bone leeching blood curdling vocal exercises that literally cause dogs to bark and babies to cry in both buildings. You get to hear that up close so my sympathies go out to you. If you do feel a little blue or depressed and want to talk or get out a bit, use me. I'm here. You're probably lonely not having a boyfriend or dating and in a small apartment over the holidays. I make a good neighbro. And if you don't mind dialing it down after 12am. THX.
Jonathan
PS - Sorry if I was pushy. I've had a rough two years. I have an aggressive form of cancer, did radiation, 3 surgies, 60 hyperbolic oxygen treatments, lost my job, then my cat who I have truly got cancer. I tried to save him, but his chemo on credit cards. But he passed away in November. I know the blues but I also know how to get out of the blues.
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WHAT. THE. FUCK. First off, my TV is really quiet and wasn't even on during the first complaint. Secondly, I'm not lonely or depressed. I was in Vegas all last week and have been out of my apartment 99 percent of the time! Even if I was home between midnight and 5:00am, that doesn't mean I'm depressed or have the blues. I WOULD BE SLEEPING.
Anyways, this is completely ridiculous and I never thought this shit happened, but it just did. I will NOT be going to his apartment.
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